Better than Love
by sophia.lancaster
Summary: Elena is no longer the innocent girl she once was. She has always had feelings for Damon and as a vampire everything that she feels is heightened. Can she suppress her feelings for Damon any longer? Elena said it would always be Stefan, but now she realizes that forever for a vampire is a very long time. Story takes place after season 3 finale. Delena.
1. A New Story

Hello everyone! I have been wanting to write a new Delena story for a while now. The season finale- OMG. So now we have to wait for a long time and I thought I would make it easier on all you and write some Delena goodness3 I'm not sure how long this will be. Reviews are love. Your feedbacks also help me to write because I get writers block. So let us see where their love takes us shall we?

I don't own anything from the Vampire Diaries. All rights go to the owners.


	2. The End is Just the Begginning

I gasp for air. Everything hurts. My head hurts. My jaw hurts. Oh god, does my jaw hurt.

" Elena." Stefan says tentatively. He puts a hand on my shoulder as I sit up.

" Stefan, what happened? Last thing I remember is I was at the bottom of the lake. I died. I mean I thought I did, but I'm here now. Oh god. Stefan. Does that mean…am I in transition?"

Stefan just looks at me sadly. He nods. And just like that my world stops. I am in TRANSITION. Everything has been for nothing. Everyone who has died protecting me died for nothing. I am dead, well sort of. I don't know what I am going to do. I don't want to be a vampire but I cant leave Jeremy. So many thoughts are running through my head. Stefan just looks at me like he can't live with himself. Stefan is alive, that means that Damon is too. DAMON. Where is he? I need to see him. And just like he can read my thoughts he barges into the room, doors swinging behind him.

" Damn it Stefan!" he yells pushing his brother against the wall.

" What did you do?" He looks furious. All rage and anger.

" Damon" I whisper. He turns to look at me his hand still around Stefan's neck. His eyes are full of so many emotions. First I see anger, sadness, pity. Then I see love, hope, and confusion. He walks over to me. First quickly but then he stops about a foot away. Hands at his sides like he doesn't know what to do with them.

" Damon its okay, I'm okay." I say standing up.

" No Elena, its not okay" he says. " Little bro over here decided to play the hero and do what you wanted. Nice lapse of judgment Stefan." he yells turning to face him.

" I only did what she wanted Damon" he says desperately.

" To hell with what she wanted. Its ELENA. That's the difference between you and me Stefan. I will always choose her. I will always save her. Even if she might hate me for it. Hell, I'll let her hate me if at the end of the day she's alive. If you had done that we wouldn't be having this pathetic back to life party."

I start to walk over to Damon but my head hurts and I get really dizzy. I stumble but Damon catches me. He sets me back on my feet. My hands are around his neck. His hands resting on my waist holding me securely. I get lost in his eyes. We stay like that for a few seonds too long, I see Stefan shift uncomfortably. I step back from him already missing being in his arms. No. I can't feel like that. I chose Stefan. I should want to be in his arms.

" I'm sorry" I say looking down " Everything hurts." Damon's look softens. He no longer looks like he wants to rip Stefan a part.

" That can go away, you know. If you decide to transition you wont have to fill pain anymore, at least not that kind." He says. I understand the hidden meaning behind those words. Sure, I won't feel physical pain but my emotions will be heightened. I wont be angry, I will be furious. I wont be sad, I will be depressed. And heartbreak can be crippling. He looks at me sadly and I can see all the hurt in his beautiful eyes. All the hurt that I caused. Stefan walks over to me and holds my hand and turns me to look at him.

" It's your choice." He says. " You do whatever you need to do. I will respect your decision. He kisses me softly on the lips. The second time in 24 hours that he has kissed me. He kisses me like its normal. Like he doesn't care if Damon sees, or maybe because of it. I turned around to see that Damon had left. My heart cringed at the thought that he had witnessed Stefan and I's kiss. When Stefan kissed me it felt nice. It was familiar and safe. But it doesn't consume me, not like how it did when Damon kissed me. Our kiss consumed me. Suddenly, I had a flashback. It was the night of the car accident.

/

"I know Bonnie, you're right, you and my mom both are. I just...can't bring myself to tell him..." I walk away from the bonfire, towards the dark road. "At least not tonight. I'll call you later."

I remember that phone call. It's what I remember after it that turns my world upside down.

"Katherine." I look up, seeing a stranger standing across from me. He's quite easily the most handsome guy I have ever seen. Hes breathtaking. But hes a stranger so I am cautious/

"Um no, I... I'm Elena." I look at him surprised.

He looks dissapointed. "Oh, you...you just look.." We stare at eachother for a minute. I get lost in his eyes but he continues on fast like he is determined to keep talking to me. "I'm sorry you just really remind me of someone. I'm Damon."

"Not to be rude or anything Damon, but it's kinda creepy that you're out here in the middle of no where." I reply a little sassily.

"You're one to talk. You're out here all by yourself." Damon smiles at me kindly.

"It's mystic falls, nothing bad ever happens here." I shrug.

Damon only stands there, smiling as if remembering a joke only he knows. "I got into a fight with my boyfriend." Obviously I want to talk to him too. There is something about him. I don't know what it is but I want to know him.

"'Bout what? May I ask." Damon questions.

"Life. Future. He's got it all mapped out." I'm talking about Matt.

"And you don't want it." Damon guesses, but he gets it right.

"I don't...know what I want." I sound so naïve. Its sad that I've repeated that sentence to him so many times since then.

"Well that's not true," Damon says, "You want what everybody wants."

"What? A mysterious stranger who has all the answers?" I say flirtily and cock an eyebrow at him.

Damon laughs, "Hm. Well, let's just say I've been around a long time. Learned a few things."

"So Damon, tell me, what is it that I want?" I stand there and cross my arms on my chest.

He seems to really think about it. "You want a love that consumes you. You want passion, and adventure, and even a little danger." He smirks. He does the eyething and my heart skips a beat.

Im captivated by his words. He knows exactly what I want. I have a strange feeling about him, a good feeling. Im drawn to him. I feel like he could be that for me. But I'm crazy, I just met him. We stare at each other for a minute before I continue. "So, what do you want?"

Damon's eyes widen clearly not expecting my question. "Uh..."

Car lights come around from the corner of the road, disturbing his thoughts. He doesn't continue and seems glad for a reason not to go on. "My parents." I explain to him.

In a blink he's right in front of me. I feel electricity "I want you to get everything you're looking for, but right now, I want you to forget that this happened. Can't have people knowing I'm in town yet." He smiles, "Good night Elena."

I met Damon first.


	3. This Changes Everything

" Are you okay Elena?" Stefan questions.

"You blanked out on me for a second there. "

" what? Yeah, I'm fine. I just…never mind. Where did Damon go? I need to talk to him. I really do". I ramble on. " I cant believe he did that, he had no right."

Stefan put his hands on my face. " Hey. Listen to me. Whats wrong" He says it so earnestly like he would do anything.

" I just need to talk to Damon."

Stefan looks disappointed. " of course." He says sadly. I'll take you back to the boarding house." He starts.

" No, I can go by myself I need to do this alone. Please." I reply. And just like I knew he would he gives in to what I want.

" Be careful, go straight there. Jeremy brought your car to the hospital but he left. He said he couldn't see you when you were ummm. Dead." I nod. I need to see Jeremy but first I need to see Damon.

Damon. That son of a bitch that erased my memory. I quickly walk to the car with Stefan right behind me. Stefan makes sure that I get there and don't attack anyone on the way. My head is pounding my I try to ignore that. That and my thirst. Its like nothing I ever felt before. I get in the car and start driving to the Boarding House. Its raining and dark, matching how I currently feel. How could Damon do this to me? I dial his number. I have no idea how my phone managed to survive the crash. He picks up almost immediately.

" Elena? Are you okay? Have you made your decision?" he asks quickly.

" How could you?" I yell.

" what are you talking about Elena?" he asked surprised.

" Don't act like," my sentence is cut short as I receive another flashback.

/

I walk intomyr room to see Damon sitting on my window sill with something in his hands.

"Cute PJ's." he smirks.

"I'm tired, Damon." I say, I'm not really sure why though.

Damon gets up smoothly from the windowseat."Brought you this." He says revealing what had been in his hands. Her necklace.

I gasp with surprise. "I thought that was gone.

Damon shakes his head .

"Thank you." I say softly. I reach for it but he pulls his hand back.

"Please give it back." I say worried.

"I just have to say something." Damon replies, stepping closer. I take a step back unconsciously. Being close to him is electrifying. It shouldn't be. I am in love with Stefan.

"Why do you have to say it with my necklace?" I ask.

"Because what I'm about to say is…probably the most selfish thing I've ever said in my life." Damon struggles as if to find the right words.

"Damon, don't go there." I beg him.

"I just have to say it once…you just need to hear it." Damon says he moves close again. "I love you, Elena." He pauses for a moment. "And it's because I love you that…I can't be selfish with you…and why you can't know this." His voice filled with emotion. "I don't deserve you, but my brother does." He places a soft kiss to myforehead. "God I wish you didn't have to forget this…" Damon's strokes my cheek softly. I cant find words. I don't know what to say. It was a mixture of 'I have feeling for you' and I love Stefan'. So I dont say anything. I just look into his beautiful blue, desperately confused and conflicted. "But you do."

/

The flashback ends. I still feel like I am dreaming. Not paying attention, the car swerves off the road and into a field. I scream and drop the phone not realizing Damon can hear me. The car slows to a stop. I breathe a sigh of relief and struggle to get the door open. It wont budge. I am dead, my head is hurting, its raining and Damon took away my memories. Needless to say I am a mess and I start crying and hitting the steering wheel.

Within a minute Damon is at the side of the car. " Oh my god Elena. Youre ok." He breathes with relief he pulls off the door and gently pulls me out of the car holding me in his arms. I'm still crying and I push him away.

" I remember Damon. All of it. How could you take those memories back. I needed those memories." I say wiping away my tears. Reaization dawns on Damon's face.

" I did that for you Elena." He tells me.

" what? You cant just do that Damon. Those were my memories. They change things. " I yell. Damon steps closer to me.

" They change nothing Elena! Don't you see? It will still be its always going to be Stefan. They change nothing. " He yells back.

" They change everything!" I say. " I fell for you the moment I met you!" I yell. Within a second he is directly in front of me.

" Don't say that Elena. You don't mean that." His face is clouded with hope and sadness.

" But I do." I whisper. " You were right, I want a love that consumes me." I say grabbing his hands. " I cant do this Elena." He says suddenly stepping back.

" I cant deal with this back and forth thing with you anymore. You either want all of me or none of me . " damon said sadly. " I want you." I step closer.

" No." he cuts me off. " This transition thing, its just messing with your emotions. Are you even going to transition? " he asks. My heart is breaking. I now know how Damon feels all the times he confessed his feeling for me. I'm just a mess of emotion right now. I don't even know if I will transition. But if I am going to die, really die, then I finally need to tell him the truth.

" Yes." I hear myself say. Oh. So apparently I made up my mind. " I need to be there for Jeremy. I'm all he has left. And I cant lose both of you." I say.

" You cant leave Stefan, ha that's a first." He smirks sadly.

" Hey, look at me. I made a mistake when I chose Stefean. He is my first love. With you, its scary and consuming and unlike anything Ive ever felt. Those memories mean so much. It could have been you Damon. It can still be you." He shakes his head in denial.

" Its ok Elena, you don't mean it. I wont hold it against you." He stares at me for a minute as if debating to just walk away or kiss me. So instead he picks me up and starts carrying me.

" Damon, I'm not done talking with you." I say hitting his chest with my fist.

" Well I'm done talking with you." He says. He doesn't believe and who blames him? I just know that for once I feel brave. Call me crazy but for some reason knowing that I could be a vampire, be immortal, I feel like I can finally do the thing that scares be most. That I can finally admit the thing that terrifies me. I am in love with Damon Salvatore. I cling to him. His strong arms hold me tight. Occasionally he looks down at me. But he doesn't believe and as he carries me back to the boarding house I wonder why it has taken me so damn long. I guess dying does that to a person.


	4. The Transition

Hello loves! I'm so sorry that it has taken me so long to update. But school is finally out, thank god. So now I finally I have time to write. Let me know what you think by reviewing. I'm thinking about ripper Elena, but I need feedback. Now on to the good stuff…(:

I wake up on the couch in the living room of the Boarding House. I can see the beginnings of daylight seeping through the window. My head is throbbing and my gums hurt . I look at the clock to see that I have slept for four hours. Four hours that had been wasted. I have made up my mind about the transition. I want to be here for Jeremy. But I am afraid. I can hear Damon and Stefan arguing in the next room.

" She needs to transition Stefan!" I hear Damon yell.

" That's her choice Damon. We can't be selfish with her." Stefan argues.

" Maybe she wants to Stefan. She said she wants to be there for Jeremy." Damon responds.

" So you two have talked about it since she left the hospital." Stefan says frowning. " What else did you two talk about?"

" Frankly baby bro its none of your damn business. But don't worry I wouldn't trust anything she is saying. This transition stuff messes with your head." Damon says his voice grows louder.

I get up from the couch and walk to the next room. Damon and Stefan both look angry, worried and tired. They both glance up when I walk in. " Elena." Stefan breathes. He walks over to hug me. "Whatever you decide I will support you." For some reason this angers me. I want him, someone, to fight for me. If he truly loves me wouldn't he fight for me to stay alive? But yet he always plays it safe. He lets me make up my mind and says whatever I do is fine with him. I push him away.

" So if I decide to die you'll be ok with that?" I ask.

" No Elena, its not like that. I just don't want to make you do something that you don't want to do. I love you Elena. So much. I just want you to choose your own life."

" Well I have. " I respond. Damon is suddenly right in front of me. His eyes search my face.

" What have you decided?" He asks softly.

"I'm going to. To transition. I need to be here for Jeremy. Its that simple. I'm the only family he has left. I can't leave him. I just can't. If I have to transition…. Then I just I'm just going to have to. It may not be what I want but its what I need to do." I say.

" But what about the life you wanted? A family, children. You wanted to grow old." Stefan says sadly.

" Well that's not really an option anymore is it?" I say my voice growing soft. " I'm going to transition today. I don't want to feed on anyone. I want to do it with a bloodbag. "

Stefan is suddenly on board with this whole idea. I know that he's happy that now he'll have eternity with me. I think that is what he has always wanted secretly. Hes just so unselfish that he would never ask. But a little voice in my head tells me that I don't want eternity with him. I want it with Damon. The events of last night come flooding back. Oh my god. I told Damon that I fell for him.

" Ill go get the bloodbag" Damon volunteers. He gives me a strange look on his way to the basement.

Stefan and I are left alone in the room. He steps close and takes my hand. " I just want you to know that I do love you Elena. I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through. You deserve so much better." He says softly. My emotions are all over the place. " I know Stefan. I'm just so confused right now. I just feel so many different things. Last night I told Damon that, " Shh" he cut me off. " You don't need to tell me." He kisses me softly. Its sweet. But once again I'm left with the feeling of wanting more. I remember my newfound memory, of when I first met Damon. I want passion.

I hear Damon clear his throat. " Well if you two don't mind. We have some rather important business. "Damon smirks. But I've learned to read him. That smirk is just a mask that he uses when he's hurt.

" Damon , I" " Its okay." He says sadly. " I get it. But we need to get some blood in you before you die. Well again." He says. He produces the bloodbag and holds it out. I am drawn to it. He puts it behind him. " Stefan you probably shouldn't be here. You know with your uncontrolled urges and all. Can't have you stealing Elena's snack." He says. I turn to see Stefan, the veins visible under his eyes.

"I'm sorry Elena. I wish I could be here. I'll wait upstairs" He says as he takes my hand and gives it a light squeeze. He walks out and looks back at me with a sad smile.

" Lets go to the living room. I don't want to stain the rugs in here." Damon jokes.

We go back into the living room and I sit on the couch. Damon stands before me.

" Are you sure about this? I mean you know what I want, but is this what you want?" He says.

" I am" I respond immediately. " Trust me." I say softly. He nods and kneels before me.

He puts the bloodbag in my hand. His hands rest for a few seconds on mine and I feel electricity. I take a quick breath and look into his eyes. For a few moments we just stare at each other. He pulls his hands back and I'm left with the bloodbag in my hands. I put it up into my mouth and I taste the blood. My body ignites, I feel alive. I down the bag with Damon at my side. Damon is the one that helps me complete my transition. I know I shouldn't, but as I lick the last blood droplets away from my face and stare into his eyes I feel so damn good.


	5. Don't You Dare Leave Me

Hello loves! So I wanted to publish this little bit since I have neglected this story, that'll be two updates tonight! Its short but I thought it ended nicely and I'm about to fall asleep on my computer. Another chapter should be up in the next few days. Thank you to everyone who reads this, I sincerely love you all and your reviews!

I want more. That's the only thought running through my head. The bloodbag has been drained dry. I stare at it wishing it was full again. Blood. I need more blood.

" Hey" Damon lifts my head up by gently pulling up my chin so I'm forced to look at him. I feel the fangs recede. Suddenly, Damon is the only thought running through my head.

" Oh my God." I say I get up and look into a mirror. The veins are still visible on my face. "I'm a vampire."

I turn to look at Damon. Everything is different. I feel different. I can hear everything. Everything is so much more vivid. Damon was perhaps the most beautiful thing I had ever seen but now he looks impossibly better. His hair is darker, incredibly black. And his eyes. Oh my god his eyes. They are unlike anything I have ever seen. So blue, that I threaten to get lost in them.

" You're staring." He smirks. In not even a second I am right in front of him. He widens his eyes. " I'm definitely not used to that. " he says. " Me either. Everything is just magnified. More vivid, clearer. " I say looking around I go over to the window and immediately cringe. My arm has been burned. I watch, transfixed, as my skin heals right in front of me.

" Yeah, you're going to need a daylight ring. Don't want you burning up. But until we do, you are under house arrest. Which, considering all things, might be a good idea." He says smirking . I turn to face him.

" Bonnie." I whisper. " She's not going to want to talk to me Damon. I just became the one thing I told her I would never become, a vampire. Oh god, she is going to hate me. Bonnie hates me. I can't have her hate me. She's my best friend. What am I going to do?" I say my voice shaking with emotion.

"Shhh." Damon says putting his hands gently on the side of my face. " It will be ok. I will talk to Bonnie. She will understand. I promise." He says. I barely comprehend what hes saying, I'm just getting lost in his eyes. My eyes drop to his lips. I feel the urge to kiss him. Its unlike anything I've ever felt. It is so strong. I remember what I have been told about a vampire's heightened emotions. I lean closer. Damon suddenly pulls away. He shakes his head as if silently reprimanding himself.

" What are you doing?" he yells. " What is this Elena? You chose Stefan. Yet you're here and you were about to kiss me. You can't do that Elena." In a blur he is right in front of me. " You can't do that Elena." He whispers. It almost sounds like a plea.

" Damon. I meant what I said last night." I say stepping closer.

" No, you don't. Trust me I get it. All this heightened emotion stuff is confusing. Its overwhelming. It takes time to learn how to live with it." He says.

" Then help me Damon. To be honest I'm scared as hell. I have no idea how to deal with any of this. I need you. Please." I ask.

" I'll stay. But only long enough for you to learn." He responds as he turns to leave .

I'm right in front of him now. " What? You're leaving? Damon, no. You can't leave. You promised you would never leave me again." I yell.

" Yeah well things change Elena." He shouts back at me as he pushes me out of the way.

" You bastard!" I scream. He walks out the front door and slams it behind it. I follow him but stop at the door. I can't go outside. I'm a trainwreck. Damon is leaving. Now that I finally accept how I feel, how I have always felt, he is leaving. Why is he leaving? If he leaves I don't know what I will do. I'm a vampire. I'm under house arrest. My best friend probably hates me. I can't go outside. Damon is mad at me. So many things are running through my head. Everything is messed up and I want to scream. Why is everything going wrong? My emotions are all over the place.

So I don't scream. Instead, I slide down the door and start to cry. " Please." I whisper. " Damon, don't leave me."


	6. Realizations and Rain

Damon's POV

I needed to get out of that house. Away from all this confusion. Away from her.

Elena is probably the only person who can make me so damn crazy. Last night I was on the verge on dying and she tells me she chooses Stefan. Of course she does. How could I expect anything different? Everyone always chooses Stefan. For months Stefan was gone, back to his old ripper ways, and I was left to comfort Elena. And I tried. I tried to be what she wanted me to be. I tried to be good. And just for a second I thought maybe, just maybe, she would choose me. But she didn't. I've been so stupid. But now she is suddenly acting like she, dare I even say it, cares about me. Almost like she loves me. No. I can't think that way. There is only so much I can take. I'll honor Stefan and I's deal. I will leave town but only when I know she can handle all this herself.

I'm running. I don't know where I'm going. I just need to get away from her. Why? Because I love her. And the idea that maybe at the end of this, she'll think she made a wrong choice and love, scares the hell out of me.

Elena's POV

After a few minutes I have managed to compose myself. I'm not sad anymore just mad. Why the hell wouldn't he tell me that he was leaving? I sit down on the couch and listen for Stefan. He's not in the house and I have no idea where he is. I'm bored and I want more blood. So I quickly get to the basement and open the freezer. Its stock full of bloodbags. I don't even know what I'm doing. I reach for one and down it quickly. I reach for another. Its addictive. I can't even describe it.

"Elena!" Stefan yells. I look up and what I see makes me sick. Bloodbags are scattered all around me. At least 10 of them. Stefan just looks at me like he doesn't even know me. It's a look filled with pity. He pulls out his phone and calls Damon. I guess hes still not good around blood because he pulls me up quickly and up the stairs. I can see the veins under his eyes.

I speed up the stairs and go straight to Damon's stash of alcohol. Anything that will somehow decline the cravings. I hear Stefan yelling into the phone, something about leaving me alone.

I'm staring into the fire as I down a glass of bourbon. Stefan gently puts an arm on my shoulder.

" We will get through this Elena." He says softly. " You're strong, you can control this."

"Obviously" I scoff. " I just downed 10 bloodbags and I had no intention of stopping Stefan. That scares me. I didn't care. I didn't want to stop." Stefan just puts his arms around me. I want to love him. Our love was simple, easy as breathing. But I don't, not how I should.

I love Damon. I have for a while now. But as a human, I craved normalcy and safety. I know Stefan isn't normal but he made me feel safe. Like I can depend on him, or at least I could. Even during this whole ripper thing I thought that we could go back to the way things were. We could be in love again. I was so wrapped up in this whole idea of a safe, easy life with Stefan. I couldn't see what was in front of me. Damon. Damon, and his all consuming love and devotion. Damon snuck up on me. I don't know exactly when I fell for him. I can't pinpoint where I went from hate to friendship to love. Our relationship is undefinable. And that's why it scares me. Damon can be unpredictable, reckless. He's passionate. He makes me want more out of life. Now that I'm a vampire I feel unafraid of that anymore. Like I'm not breakable. I can finally be with who I want to. I'm tired of playing it safe. I love him. I will do whatever it takes to show him that. I will try to show him I love him for eternity.

I gently pull away from Stefan. I want to tell him that it's not him. That I choose Damon. But then I look at him, and I see all his sadness and guilt. My confession will crush him and that hurts me. So I will wait until all of this settle down to reveal my feelings to him. But that means that I can't be with Damon. Either way I will hurt someone. I'm so tired of hurting them. They deserve better than this. They deserve better than me.

Stefan walks over to me and stands between the fire and I. " I called Bonnie." He says softly. I instantly look up at him.

" What did you say?" I ask.

" I talked to her about the daylight ring. I explained everything that happened to you, and why you chose to …. Transition. She should be over later tomorrow . You need to talk to her Elena. She didn't want this for you." He says. I nod. He continues on, " Everyone wants to see you and how you are doing."

"No." I say firmly. " I don't want anyone to see me like this. I don't want to hurt anyone Stefan."

" I know you don't and that's why I'll be here for you when you meet with Bonnie. I will always be here for you."

" I know Stefan. Thank you. I'm going to go upstairs I think I need to be alone." I tell him. He gives me a weak smile as I tread up the stairs. I'm emotionally drained. I find a guest room that's nice and dark and climb onto the bed. Its right next to Damon's and somehow this thought comforts me as I fall asleep.

I wake up in the middle of the night. I can hear the rain quite loudly. I can hear footsteps and undressing. Its amazing every little sound my ears can pick up. I quietly get out of bed, curious as to the sounds. They're coming from Damon's room. I need to talk to him. I open the door quietly and step into his room. He immediately turns around and stares at me. His shirt is unbuttoned. I suddenly remember our trip to Denver. The motel. The kiss.

My eyes travel down his chest. " Its not polite to stare Elena." His voice startles me. He smirks but I can see he's sad and as emotionally drained as I am.

" What do you want?" he asks bitterly. He pours himself another glass of bourbon and downs it. I can see he's already gone through a whole bottle. A drunk Damon is not a good thing.

" I heard you come in." I explain stepping towards him. " I wanted to talk to you."

" Yeah but I don't want to talk to you. Now if you don't mind please leave me and my bourbon in peace." He takes another swig, this time straight out of the bottle. He turns away from me and turns to look out the window.

The moon reflects on his face and I stare at him in awe. He's so beautiful. The moon casts odd lights in the room, illuminating him. He obviously expects me to leave. He can be so stubborn. I quietly stand beside him. We stand in silence for a moment. When he looks at me he looks so broken. It hurts so bad to know that I am the one who has caused him so much pain for so long.

"Please leave Elena." He says again. " Theres only so much I can go through."

" No. Damon I need to talk to you. " I respond determined.

His face hardens. " I said leave. Don't make me ask you again. "

" I'm staying Damon." I say defiantly. He looks at me angrily and pushes past me. I follow him. He's fast but so am I. He doesn't stop until he's a good distance out of the house. We're in the forest now and he suddenly stops and backs me up against a tree.

Its raining hard now.

" Why are you following me Elena. Can you not take a hint? I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to see you. I'm done with all of this. I don't want to feel like this." My heart drops. He's going to switch it off again, because of me.

" Damon don't switch it off. " I beg.

He staring at me now as if trying to figure something out. His eyes are all over my face like he's looking for an answer.

" Give me one reason not to."

That's when I kiss him. It's a long slow kiss. He softens his grip on me and moves his hands to my waist. I put my hands on his neck and run my hands through his hair.

Neither of us need to breathe but I'm breathless. Its electrifying. I feel incredibly warm as his hands stroke my sides even though it pouring outside. Its even better than our kiss in Denver. I pour everything I feel into that kiss.

I slide my hands down the front of his open shirt, letting my hands feel the hard muscles of his stomach. His hands play the bottom of my shift, sliding under it to feel my skin. We're soaking and I don't care.

Suddenly lighting cracks overhead startling us. Damon pulls back his hands still lingering on the bare skin of my hips I'm gripping his shirt. We just stare at each other wondering what just happened and what it means.


	7. I Don't Want to Feel

Hello everyone! So I decided to upload two chapters tonight. I just couldn't wait! Once again thanks for all your reviews, I love all of you! I'm not sure about this chapter. Yall might not like at the end, but its all up from here.

Elena's POV

He says its just my heightened emotions and he won't hold it against me. He smiled and then left. I was shocked. I just stood there in the rain for a while wondering what had just happened. Damon had rejected me. I trudged back to the boarding house and took a hot shower before climbing into bed. I stayed in bed for the next day not talking to anyone. Stefan brought me some type of animal blood in a cup. I was grateful but I wanted the human blood and it scared me. For a whole day Damon didn't return.

Damon's POV

I'm conflicted. Elena chose Stefan. I promised Stefan that I would leave and give them a chance to live their little happily ever after. But then Elena had to go play martyr and die and turn into a vampire. She said it would always be Stefan but then she kissed me. She really kissed me. I don't know what to do about it so I ignore it. For a day I went over to Ric's place. I got drunk and tried to forget how I felt about her. She deserves so much better than me. Even as a vampire she is still good. I feel like I owe it to her and my brother to try to let her sort all of her feelings out. She's just a bundle of emotions right now, its all so confusing for her. Once she becomes used to being a vampire she'll realize that she made a mistake kissing me. That she still loves Stefan. And I can't take that not again. If I had my way I would leave town. Being around her is getting too damn hard. But I owe it to her to help her through this. So I'll be her friend, at least until I leave town.

Elena's POV

It's weird between us now. Neither one of us talked about the kiss. I felt like he finally understood what I felt, but I was wrong. He acts like nothing happened. Like we're back to just being friends. He acts like he only wants to be friends now. I figure I owe him that, to be whatever make him happy even if it hurts me.

Tonight he's taking me out. No not like that. He's going to teach me to control my urges around people. I'm still staying at the Boarding House even though I have my daylight ring. Bonnie and I are okay now. At first when she came to see me she wouldn't look me in the eye. She said she felt like I had died. I did, in a way. I reassured that I was the same Elena just with a slightly different change of taste in…food. We both cried over my loss of life. In the end she hugged me and said that she would always be here for me.

Damon knocked on the bedroom door. I turned to face him and my breath hitched. He was dressed in black dress pants and a dark blue dress shirt. Damn, he looked good. He smiles.

" You said we were going out but I assumed it was just the grill." I said embarrassingly looking down at my jeans and dark red Henley.

" Nonsense. Tonight we are celebrating too." He said leaning against the doorway with a bag.

" And why is that?" I pried.

" Just the fact that you managed to stop yourself yesterday. You practiced some self control. That took me ages to learn. So were celebrating." He smirked. " Besides Barbie wanted to cheer you up and she brought you some clothes. She said she'd come by tomorrow because she had some party to plan. " he stepped closer until he was right in front of me. " And I'm dying to see how you look in that dress." He smiles.

" Whatever." I push him away. He's acting like he wants to be friends and then he drops one of his flirty little comments and does that eye thing. Talk about mixed symbols. For a second he looks almost hurt. He quickly composes himself and drops the bag on the bed. " We can leave in 30 minutes." He says on his way out the door before closing it.

I curiously walk over to the shopping bag and pull out a box. I open it to reveal a beautiful navy lace dress. Its simple and elegant. It hits a bit above my knees. It hugs my waist. I try it on. I have to admit, Caroline has wonderful taste. I also remove a pair a nude heels from the bag and slip them on. They're surprising comfy and not too high. I put my hair in a low bun. I look beautiful. I wonder what Damon will think…no. I can't keep doing that. I have to stop thinking about him. If he wants to be friends I will be his friend. In a way it makes sense; after all the heartbreak I put him through he doesn't believe that I would finally pick him. So he goes back to the way we used to be. Friends.

I make my way downstairs and see Damon waiting by the door. When he hears me he turns around and his eyes darken with lust. He shakes his head as if chastising himself. " You look beautiful if it isn't obvious." My heart drops as he says that. " Shall we?" he smiles.

I glance at him and wonder how I'll keep myself from kissing him all night. I smile back up to him.

" We shall."

We drive in Damon's car to the next town over. We drive for about half an hour. We talk about everything and its comfortable. He says something and I laugh and he smiles back at me. He has one hand on the steering wheel and the other one resting in the middle. I'm so tempted to interlock our fingers and see what his reaction will be. We've barely touched physically since then. When we do he just looks at me oddly and pulls away. Its almost like he's afraid of what will happen if we touch.

We finally pull up to a lone restaurant. I can't read the name but it seems to be Italian. Of couse. Damon opens the door for me and holds it out my shoulder grazes his chest and I feel him tense. The waiter seats us down in a corner in the far left. The restaurant is big and there's only about 10 other people here. Its nice and quiet. It's a fancy restaurant with cloth napkins and all. The lighting is low and as I sit across from Damon I can't help but stare at him as he reads the menu.

He glances up and smirks. " You're staring."

" You're cocky." I retort smiling.

He laughs. " What are you getting?"

" I'm not sure. You order for me. I'm sure it'll be good."

" Everything here is delicious." He replies.

I can't help but think how the people here will taste.

He suddenly leans forward and whispers, " After the meal I can take you out back and we can practice your control." Its like he can read my mind.

The waitress comes over and asks for our order. Damon orders for both of us. She's young, in her early twenties. She has black hair and is rather pretty. She smiles flirtily at Damon and rests her hand on his shoulder. She positions herself so her boobs are practically in his face. Damon says something back at her and she giggles. I want to rip her throat out. She finally walks away. " Excuse me. I have to go to the restroom." I say quickly getting up out of the table. I go to the bathroom and put come cold water on my face, trying to cool off. I walk back out and see Damon at the bar talking to that slut waitress. He puts his hand on hers and she bats her eyelashes. I can't take it. I walk straight out of the restaurant.

I don't bother to look back. It scares me. That girl was flirting with Damon and I wanted to desperately to kill her. Drain her dry. All because she was flirting. I was really starting to understand what Damon meant about heightened emotions. The parking lot is deserted. Thank god. I feel like I would rip the head off of someone even they even looked at me in the wrong way. I was furious. I'm leaning against a car when I hear Damon.

" Elena, are you ok?"

I turn to face him glaring " Do I look like I'm ok?"

" What is wrong?" he questions his eyes searching mine. He's right in front of me. I push at his chest and start walking away from him. He grabs my arm and pulls me back ,our chests touch.

" Let go of me." I say. I try to pull away but his grip is firm.

" Tell me what is wrong." He commands.

" That slut is what is wrong." I retort.

His eyes widen and his grip softens. I pull away from him.

" Did you just bring me here so you could flirt with girls in front of me?" I ask glaring at him.

" What? No. I wouldn't do that. Why does it even matter?" he implores.

" Never mind!" I say.

" Elena why did that make you so upset?" he pins me against the car.

His lips are inches from mine and for a split second he looks down at my lips and I think he's going to kiss me. But he doesn't. " Why do you care?" he questions.

" Damon, please. Forget it. I'm fine. Lets just go home."

He looks at me like he wants to say something. For a second we stay like that. My back against the car, his hands on the sides of my head. He steps back and silently walks back to the car. He holds the door open and I get in. The drive home is silent. I keep looking over at him. His eyes stay focused on the road. We return home and he holds the door open. I'm still mad at him. I brush past him and go straight up the stairs bumping into Stefan. He notices my angry expression.

" Are you ok?" he says putting his arms on my shoulders.

" Yeah, I'm fine. Damon's just being a dick." I mutter.

" Do you, uh, want to talk?" he questions. He looks at me so kindly. He puts one hand under my chin and forces me to look up at him. " You know I'm here for you." I hear Damon come in the front door. So of course I choose to screw everything up. I'm mad and I want Damon to feel the hurt I felt. He doesn't deserve it but for some reason I don't care. I put my arms around Stefan's neck and kiss him. Stefan's stunned but he starts to kiss me back. I know Damon is right behind me. I pull away and smile at Stefan. " I'll see you tomorrow." I walk up the stairs to my room not bothering to look back.


	8. When Bourbon is Not Enough

Hello everyone! I know some of you didn't like the ending of the last chapter, I didn't either. But I wanted to put it in to show how heightened Elena's emotions are as a vampire, how impulsive she can be. Next chapter I plan on having some good things go down between my favorite couple ;) Anyways this is the third chapter tonight and I'm about to pass out on my computer. I love you all and your reviews, keep reading!

Elena's POV

I wake up in the middle of the night. I feel like hell. I just messed things up horrendously. I can't blame him if he'll never accept that I love him. Hell, I tell him I choose him then choose to go make out with Stefan in front of him. Damn, I need a drink. I pad downstairs in my tank top and pajama pants. I pour myself a glass of bourbon, then deciding I am a trainwreck, just grab the bottle. I sit down on the couch in front of the everblazing fire.

I sit there for a bit. I don't know how long. I just know that the once full bottle of bourbon is now empty. I hurt. I hurt because he hurts. I don't want to feel like this. I know he hates me now. I want to turn it off. Before I know what I'm doing I'm out the door. I'm running, sprinting through the forest. I come to a road. I can see car lights in the distance. Someone broke down. I'm next to the car in a second. A man in his late twenties is talking on his phone. He has brown hair and a denim jacket on. He hangs up when he sees me sobbing.

" Are you ok?" he asks uncertainly.

" No, I'm not okay." I cry. " Have you ever been in love?" I question. He nods, unsure of where I'm going with this. " He has always loved me. I've been so selfish with him. I always told him that it would be his brother, I wanted to play it safe. But truthfully, it was him. I love him, so much. And it hurts. I told him I loved him, and he rejected me. And then he flirts with this girl. I wanted to kill her, snap her neck. Drain her dry." He looks frightens and takes a step back. " I'm sorry ma'am can I call someone to come get you?"

I interrupt him, " And you know whats worse? I just kissed his brother. I have ruined everything. I hurt so bad. Please make it stop." I beg.

"Ma'am is there something I could do for you?"he asks.

" Yes, you can make it stop, just for a second." I feel my face change, my fangs now present and the veins under my eyes visible. He looks at me horrified. I grab him and let my teeth sink into his neck. He struggles at first but as I drain the life out of him, he grows limp. His blood is delicious. I can't get enough. For a minute I feel good. I don't hurt. I forget about Damon.

I drop his body to the ground. And then the blood high wears off and realization sinks in. I just killed someone..

I don't know what to do. Out of habit I call Caroline. She picks up almost immediately.

" Elena, honey, whats wrong?" she asks.

" Can I come over to your place? I can't go back to the Boarding House. I can't face Damon. Caroline I've messed up so much."

" Of course. I'm sure its nothing that you cant fix." She responds calmly.

"Caroline, I. I killed someone." I tell her, my voice cracking.

" Oh my god. Do you want me to come get you?" she asks quickly.

" No Care, I'll be right over."

I stand up and look at the lifeless body. I drag it into the forest. I know I can't be careless and leave bodies. I recall a nearby lake. I listen for water and go in that direction. I quickly reach the lake. It seems to be a good place to discard the body. I throw it into the lake. I watch the body sink. I can't believe what I just did. I remember my promise to Caroline. I listen intently and run in the direction of noise. Before I know it I'm in the town square. I know how to get to Caroline's from here. I reach her house and the lights are on. Her mom's car isn't in the drive way. I walk up to the front porch and she opens the door before I have a chance to knock.

" Oh my god Elena." She cries as she pulls me into a hug. She ushers me into her bedroom and we sit down on the bed.

"What happened Elena? Start from the beginning."

" I don't know where to start Car. After the transition I started to realize things. I realized that I was in love with Damon. I have been for a while." I admitted. " I told him that. But he didn't believe me. He said it was just my heightened emotions. We had somewhat of a fight and I kissed him. I thought maybe he would realize that its him I love. But he acted like nothing happened, like we were back to just being friends. And then he took me out and I saw him flirting with this girl and I lost. I wanted to kill her Car, just because Damon paid attention to her. We had a fight. I was so angry at him. I wasn't thinking. I kissed Stefan in front of Damon. And now he hates me. I think that I lost him forever this time. I hurt so bad so I left the house. I just wanted to stop feeling so awful. I ran into a man and I drank his blood. I couldn't stop. I killed him Car. I killed someone. I'm a monster."

" Elena, sweetie, everything will be ok. You have to talk to Damon. He loves you. He just needs to realize that you do love him too. I'm so sorry that you killed someone, I know how that feels, and its horrible."

" Can we talk in the morning Car? I just need to sleep." I ask softly. I don't want to talk anymore.

" Of course." She nods and leaves me with all of my regret.


	9. Love and Hate

Hello loves! Once again I don't own the Vampire Diaries. I know, life is dreadful. I just want to say thanks to everyone who has been reading. Let me know what you think should happen next in a review. Ok, enough boring stuff. On to the Delena good stuff that I promised (:

I woke up in Caroline's room. The sunlight was streaming in through her curtains. It was quiet. Peaceful. But then all of the horrible recollections of last night came flooding back.

I suddenly hear the door barge open.

" Where is she? Is she ok? I got your call." a male voice says. Damon.

" Yeah, she fine. I just think thought that you needed to know what happened. Don't ask me why I called you instead of Stefan, I don't know why myself. I just thought that you should know. But I didn't ask you come. Why are you even here?" Caroline says.

" I don't know Caroline. I just need to see her. No matter how much I may try to just turn it all off and forget about her, I can't. Trust me, I've tried these past few days. But I owe it to her to help her get through this. But after that… I don't know." Damon says.

Caroline sighs. " She thinks you hate her."

"What?" Damon murmurs. " You know I could never hate her. I just get so angry at her sometimes but its because I lo-. care about her."

" Damon I know shes done so much to hurt you, especially recently, but don't give up on her. She needs you now more than ever."

" Yeah, well, I'm tired of being needed. Sometimes I just wish I was wanted. Now will you just let me see her? I just need to see how she is, I'll leave right after. I don't want to talk to her." Damon says.

" Fine." Caroline mutters. " Shes in my room."

I quickly get up out of the bed and start to the door.

Damon beats me to it and opens it. His eyes widen in surprise as he sees me.

" I didn't think you'd be awake." He says softly. " I just came to see that you were ok. I'm gonna go now, I'm sure Stefan is dying with worry."

" Damon, wait. I" but before I can even finish the sentence he's gone.

Caroline offers to let me stay at her place but I don't think her mom will be keen on having a baby vampire as a house guest. I'm still scared on how I could act around people so I choose not to go to Jeremy. So I'm left with the boarding house. Great. Caroline drives me over in the afternoon. "Call me later ok?" Caroline asks as she reaches over the seat to hug me.

" Yeah, of course Car." I smile.

I slowly walk inside the boarding house. I walk into the living room and see Damon sitting on the couch a glass of bourbon in his hand. He doesn't hear me. For a second I just stare at him. He looks angry and confused.

" Elena!" Stefan yells pulling me into a hug. I see Damon turn around to look at me. I can't read his expression.

" Oh my god, Elena. I'm so sorry. What can I do for you?" Stefan murmurs in my hair. I gently pull away from him.

" I'm sorry arrived unannounced. I didn't know where else to go." I say softly.

" Elena, you can always stay here." He smiles.

" Thanks Stefan. I'm going to go upstairs to the guest room. I just need to think." I say.

He nods. " Of course, let me know if you need anything. I'm just going out to uh, hunt. I'll be back in a few hours."

I look behind Stefan. Damon isn't in the living room anymore.I make my way upstairs and walk to the guest room I was staying in.

I seem to only be capable of screwing up or sleeping lately. So I choose to do the latter.

I walk over to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. I look the same. It dawns on me that this is how I will look, forever. I rinse water on my face and pat it dry to erase all the evidence of crying. I retreat back to the room. I climb into bed and attempt to sleep but its pointless. I can't.

I can hear Damon moving around in the next room.

I climb out of bed and pad into the hallway. I stand right outside his door. His back is to me and he's leaning forward onto a table.

" Damon." I say softly. He doesn't respond. He doesn't even look at me. I know he heard me.

" Damon, can we talk?" I venture. Still no response. His back is to me.

" Damon I'm trying to fix this." I say a little more boldly. He stays still as a statue.

"Please Damon. This can't be us. Id rather us fight than for you to act like I'm not even here." He doesn't budge.

" Damn it Damon why do you have to be so difficult?" I yell. I turn to go back to my room.

" You think I'm being difficult?" he yells. " You are the one who is messing with my head. You're so bipolar I don't know where we are right now."

I whip around and walk towards him." In case you haven't realized I'm new to this whole vampire thing. I can't control it. My emotions are everywhere."

" Whatever. Go talk to Stefan about it. I'm sure you two can roast bunnies over the campfire and reveal your feelings!" he yells at me his eyes blazing.

I glare at him. " Why do you always bring up Stefan? He has nothing to do with this! This is about you and me and how I feel!"

" And how do you feel exactly Elena? All I know is that you tell me it will always be Stefan and suddenly now you're telling me that you can be with me. What changed Elena?" he yells.

" Everything!" I scream. " Now that I'm a vampire I'm not afraid, not like I used to be. Stefan was security for me, I was playing it safe. I loved him Damon." I tell him.

He scoffs. " Yeah, trust me I get it. You love Stefan. I've heard it enough. Go talk to Stefan because honestly Elena I have nothing else to say to you." He turns back around.

I rush over to him and force him to look at me. He quickly pull out my grasps and glares at me.

" You're an ass Damon! This is hard enough. Just let me finish." I fume.

" This whole heightened emotions thing is terrifying. Everything I feel is so much more magnified that it hurts. When I saw you at the restaurant with that girl, that was it for me. I wanted to kill her Damon. Snap her neck. Just because she was flirting with you. And then we fought and I felt empty. I messed up Damon. I shouldn't have kissed Stefan. It was low and I only did it because I was hurting. I will understand if you never want to speak to me again. You deserve so much better. Ive done so many things to hurt you. The idea of you hating me for forever kills me. That's why I killed the man, because I thought the blood could stop the hurt. It did, for a minute. But the only way I could stop the hurt was if I told you how I felt."

" You should go before you say anything you regret." He says coldly.

" I'm not done Damon. I've felt like this for a while. I just need you to hear me say it." I continue.

" No Elena, you need to hear me when I say I can't do this anymore." He turns away from me and starts to the door.

" Damn it Damon, I am in love with you!" I yell.

He stops.

" What did you just say?" he whispers.

" I am in love with you Damon Salvatore." I say softly.

Before I can even register whats happening my back is against the door and he's kissing me. His arms pull me closer to him and I slide my arms around his neck. His fingers draw circle on the bare expanse of my waist. I run my fingers through his hair. His hands leave trails of fire all over me. I slide my hands down his chest. He slides his tongue into my mouth and I moan. I can feel him smiles as he kisses me. I go weak at the knees. As if he can tell he picks me up and we fall onto his bed. The kisses slow. I unbutton the buttons on his shirts and he throws it somewhere behind him. He gently pulls up my shirt. He kisses my neck and collar bone and I moan contently. I pull his hair so he can kiss my lips again. He's inches from my face, hovering right over me. " I love you Damon." I whisper getting lost in his beautiful blue eyes. He gently brushes hair out of my face. " I love you Elena." He says smiling. He kisses me again. And again. And again.

Suddenly the door flies open.

A stunned Stefan stands in the doorway. Damon and I are on his bed half naked. We both sit up.

" Elena, I." he stops mid-sentence. He just looks between us shocked. He quickly turns around and runs down the stairs.

I turn back to Damon.

" I need to go talk to him Damon."

" I know." He says softly twirling his fingers in my hair.

I kiss him. " I love you." I say leaning my forehead against his.

" I know." He smiles.

I pull on my shirt and go after Stefan.

Oh my god guys. What just happened? Here I was having them fight then Damon decides to kiss her. Yeah ok Damon. That works too. Haha I'm just kidding. I honestly didn't expect it to turn out this way but I kinda like the way it did. Anyways review on what you think about their fight and kiss. What should happen next? Much love xx.

-Sophie


	10. Letting Go

Hello loves! Sorry about the wait, I was on vacation and I couldn't update. I hope all of you enjoy! Comment and tell what you think should happen next between our favorite couple! Once again, I do not own anything from the Vampire Diaries, all rights go to the owners.

I find Stefan standing in the driveway. He is leaning against the house with his back to me.

" Stefan, we need to talk." I tell him. His back tenses up but he didn't face me.

"Stefan, please." I say softly. He finally turns to face me.

He looks heartbroken. It killed me to know that I caused him this pain.

" There's nothing to really say Elena. You said you chose me. I guess that's not the case though anymore since I found you in my brother's bed."

" Nothing happened Stefan." I told him.

" Obviously not Elena. Something did happen. Something huge. Something that I've been trying to ignore for a while." He says softly. " You realized that you loved Damon. I've know that for a long time Elena, probably longer than you've known that yourself. Trust me Ive seen the way you look at each other, the tension you two have, the way only he can always make you laugh."

" I just have to ask one question Elena. Why him?" he pleads.

" Because I love him Stefan. He makes me feel so many things I didn't think I could feel. He makes me feel alive. Damon makes me question everything, he makes me want to live differently and take more risks. He was there for me when you weren't Stefan." I say glancing at him guiltily at the last part. " He showed me who he really was. Hes not the monster he pretends to be. He has a good heart. When he loves he loves with every ounce of him, and it just consumes me. When I'm with him I can't imagine not being with him. I crave his love and devotion. I love him." I say slowly.

Stefan nods. He glances at me and turns his back to me.

" So what does this mean now? Do you want me to get Damon so we can all talk?" I ask after a minute of silence.

" No." Stefan says quickly. " Because if you do I'll punch him."

I take a step back.

After a moment of silence he turns to face me. " But he's my brother and if he makes you happy then there's no reason for you not to be together. I just want you to be happy." He says softly. He smiles but his eyes betray him. I can tell he's hurting, that he's heartbroken.

I walk over to him and hug him.

He's tenses under my touch but hugs me back.

" You were my first love Stefan, and I will always love you in that way. I'm just not in love with you. My love for Damon is greater, it's the kind of love that consumes. I want you to have that too, but I can't be that person for you."

" I know." He breathes. For a few minutes we stay in that embrace. Stefan somewhat shakes. I wonder if hes crying. When he pulls away I see no trace of tears though. He gives me a sad smile.

" What now?" I ask.

He struggles as if remembering something. His smile disappears and is replaces by a frown.

" Now I leave town."

" Stefan please stay, I still want to be here for you." I say quickly.

" I have to Elena." He says stepping forward. " I can't be here and watch you be with my brother. Its too hard."

" I know. I'm so sorry Stefan, I've been so selfish with both of you."

He brings his hand up to my face and cups my chin.

" I still love you Elena." He kisses my cheek.

I let out a ragged breath. " I'm so sorry." I whisper. Stefan turns and walks away from me and I start crying. Just because I'm not in love with him doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. I still need him. I just need to let him walk away.

/

I walk back into the boarding house. Damon is sitting on the couch with a bourbon in his hand. My breath quickens when I notice his shirt is still undone.

" You're back." He comments standing up to face me.

" Why do you sound so surprised?" I question.

" I don't know I guess I'm just so used to it being Stefan that you would think you had made a mistake." He says glancing down. I can see his walls go down. He's being so honest and human with me. I'm quickly in front of him. He looks into my eyes and I intertwine our hands.

" I know I didn't make a mistake Damon. I chose you because I'm in love with you. Not with Stefan, not anymore."

He nods.

" He said that he is going to leave town." I say softly. Damon avoids my gaze.

" He says that he needs to, at least for a while. I'm going to miss him Damon." I admit.

" I know you will. I understand that Elena. But I think this is for the best."

I look at his face and he looks somewhat guilty but then he smiles and pulls me in for a hug. I erase the thought. Not wanting to dwell on being sad anymore I want to change the conversation.

" What now?" I murmur against his neck.

" Actually I have a question." I pull back and study his face. His eyesbrows go up and he attempts to act all innocent. He pouts his lips. " Can I have another kiss?"

I immediately kiss him. But I feel like hes holding back.

Review it, you know you want to...

Thanks to all of my readers, I love all of you!


	11. Back from the Dead

All rights go to the owners.

Massive thank you to everyone who is sticking with this story, all of you are amazing!

I wake up in the guest room at the Boarding House which has recently become my home more than anything. I feel good waking up which isn't something I'm completely used to but I'm guessing its because I finally told Damon I loved him. I listen in the house for any signs of Stefan. The only sounds I can hear is the breathing of Damon in the next room over.

I quietly get out of bed and walk to Damon's room. His door is halfway open and I can see him sprawled out on the bed. The covers are half off and I can see his perfectly sculpted chest. My breath catches in my throat. He looks so serene and peaceful sleeping. His hair is a mess and there is a small smile on his lips. I gently sit on the bed and kiss his cheek. He moans and slightly stirs. I smile and kiss him again on the other cheek. His eyes flicker open and he smirks. In a second he's rolled us over and he's hovering over me. His eyes take in my v neck and short shorts and he smiles.

" Nice pjs."

"Just kiss me." I mutter.

His lips crash down on mine and I sigh. I wrap my arms around his neck to try to get him closer to me. I need him to be closer to me. I move my hips against him and I can feel him smirk. He pulls back slightly. " Well good morning to you too." He whispers. I give him a quick peck and pull him out of bed remembering the first reason I came to wake him up.

" Let's do something today. I've been pretty much cooped up in the house since the transition. I want to go out." I say.

He steps closer to me and put his hands low on my waist. " But we were just having so much fun." He moans.

I give him another kiss. Its meant to be quick but then he has me up on his dresser and he's in between my legs. His tongue slips into my mouth and I moan. His hands slip under my shirt and roam all over my lower back. My hands tangle in his hair and slide down his chest. He kisses along my jaw and neck.

"Seriously Damon. You're making leaving this room impossible." I mutter.

He brings his face level with mine. " We don't need to leave it ever." He says softly kissing me again.

" You're insatiable." I tell him between kisses. He tugs off my top and I gasp as his hands touch my stomach.

And then the doorbell rings.

Damon groans. " Damn it."

" I'll get it." I say quickly trying to suppress a laugh when I see Damon's crestfallen face." We'll pick up later."

I slip back on my shirt as I run down the stairs. I open the door and see the people I have so desperately wanted to. Caroline, Matt and Jeremy are standing in the doorway.

" Oh my god Elena!" Caroline immediately smothers me in a hug. " We just couldn't wait any longer. We had to see you. But don't you worry I'll watch over you. Not that I think you need it. I'm not saying that at all. But you know, just to be safe." Caroline babbles.

I laugh. " It's good to see you too." She steps away and I immediately pull Jeremy into a hug. 'Its so good to see you Jer. I'm sorry I haven't been able to see you sooner." I can hear his pulse and it takes everything in me not to act on impulse. I take a deep breath and compose myself, trying desperately not to think about the blood pumping through his veins.

"Its ok Elena." He smiles as he pulls away. I turn to Matt. He stands there awkwardly.

" How are you doing?" he asks quietly.

" I'm actually doing good. Better than I thought I'd be." I pull him into a quick hug.

" Where's Bonnie?" I question.

" She hasn't been answering her phone lately. I even went by her house but no one was there." Caroline informs me.

" Oh okay." I'm disappointed that Bonnie isn't here. I wonder if she decided that me being a vampire was too much to handle.

They follow me inside and we make our way to the den.I take one of the couches while they take the other. Damon walks down stairs buttoning his shirt. Caroline gives me a look when she notices how disheveled he looks.

" Oh goody, the gangs all here." Damon smirks. " Minus witchy." He falls into the spot next to me he grabs my hand but I pull slightly away. He gives me a strange look but quickly composes himself. I don't want anyone to know about us. I just want to be with him for a while. I don't want to have to deal with all of their judgments and telling me what a monster he is. Because, he's not. He has a good heart. Damon is good.

But Caroline notices. Her eyes flicker between us and she nods at me. Damn it, that girl know me too well.

"Where's Stefan?" Jeremy questions after glancing around the room.

" He left."I explain.

" Why is that?" Jeremy asks. He looks between us suspiciously.

" He's not exactly the best teacher right now. What with all his uncontrolled urges. Its not good for him to be around baby vamps right now. Don't want him going all ripper and teaching Elena his lifestyle of a bulimic vamp." He scoffs.

Jeremy seems pleased with the answer.

His eyes widen as he stares at something behind me. I turn and see Bonnie standing there but there's someone with her, Tyler.

That's when Caroline gasps " Oh my god."

Thanks for reading! Do all of you think I should start doing some point of views from Caroline? Because asdhaslkyvbsod, I love Klaroline 3 Reviews are loved!


	12. I Just Want You All the Time

Hello loves! I hope everyone is enjoying this story, I'm loving writing it. Any type of review is appreciated. Oh, I also and completely in love with them, mostly Damon. I blame him for the reason I don't have a boyfriend. No guy can live up to my expectations. Thanks a lot for setting the standards so damn high Damon. Ok, enough of me whining about how tragic life is (seriously though every girl should have a Damon!) Hope you like this chapter! 3

Elena's POV

" Tyler." Caroline breathed. She looked as if she had seen a ghost which in a way was true. As far as we knew Tyler had died when Klaus had died.

In a second Damon was in front of him. " How are you alive Tyler?"

" I wish I knew." Tyler responds. " I should be dead, but I'm obviously not."

" Yeah, I can see that." Damon responds annoyed.

" This is crazy. You should be dead. You were directly linked to Klaus' bloodline." Damon's eyes widen. " Unless Klaus isn't dead." In a flash he has Tyler pinned against the wall, his hand around Tyler's neck.

" Stop it! We can deal with all the interrogations later." Caroline yells. She pushes Damon out of the way and Tyler falls to the ground. She drops to the ground and puts her arms around him. " I thought I lost you." She whispers. She kisses him quickly and buries her face in his neck. Tyler doesn't seem like he knows what to do. He hesitantly puts his arms around her.

I run over to Damon even though hes not visibly hurt. " Are you ok?" I question. " Save it Elena. Don't want anyone here to think that you actually care about me." He says harshly. He pushes past me.

" Hi Elena."

I turn around to see Bonnie behind me. " Bonnie!" I quickly pull her into a hug. " We were worried! You weren't answering your phone, at least that's what Caroline said. What was wrong? Where have you been?" I ask worried.

" I've just had to deal with some things." She says quietly avoiding my glance.

" What kind of things Bonnie?" I ask curiously.

"Its nothing." She mutters.

" Bonnie. You're my best friend. I know when something is wrong. You can always talk to me." I tell her.

" No, Elena I'm fine. Its nothing really. Don't worry about me. " she says still avoiding looking at me.

She's hiding something. I have to find out what it is.

/

Everyone's left and Damon and I are left alone in the house. He's drinking bourbon like water. That's not good.

I walk up behind him and put my arms around him hugging him. He pulls away.

" Are you ashamed to be with me?" he asks softly. He's not looking at me.

" No of course not! I love you. I just don't want to have to deal with all their judgements.

" Do you think its true?" he asks even softer. " What they think about me?"

" Not at all Damon. They just don't know you. You're good. You're so good. They don't know you."

I tell him desperately.

" But yet you care about what they think. That they will think that you're making a mistake. Choosing me. The sarcastic and reckless alcoholic killer. The bad brother." He says looking away from me. " They want you to be with Stefan." He whispers.

" But I don't want to be with Stefan." I tell him intertwining our fingers.

"Make up your mind Elena." He says his voice growing louder. "Either you want to be with me or not. I'm not only going to be with you when it's convenient. I'm not going to suddenly act like I'm not in freaking in love with you whenever someone you know is nearby. That's insane. You're insane. I'm not going to change who I am so your friends will accept me. You already know that I told you that I'm not going to change. I'm not Stefan and I will never be Stefan. Stop thinking about what everyone else thinks and what everyone else wants. For once in your life do something for you. Stop trying to make everyone else happy. What makes you happy?" he searches my eyes for a minute then he pulls away from my grasp and walks away leaving me alone.

" You make me happy Damon." I whisper.

The only response I get is the front door slamming.

I want to go after him. I don't want o be without him even for a second but I know I'll just make things worse. All I do is screw up my words when I'm around him. Why can't he see that I love him so damn much it hurts? I'm not ashamed of him, I'm proud of how good he's become. I wish that everyone else could see that. I just don't want everyone to know. I don't care about their opinions. Nothing they say could change the way I feel about him. Nothing. I just don't want him to have to listen to all their judgments and remarks because he doesn't deserve that. He shouldn't have to listen to people say how he's wrong for me. Because hes not. Damon's perfect for me for so many reasons.

/

Damon's POV

I'm so tired of her denying us. I can't do it anymore. She is ashamed to be with me. That fact alone kills me. I just want this to stop, all the pain that the one girl I am so madly in love with causes. I just need this to stop, just for a little. The bourbon is gone and unfortunately I don't feel drunk. If anything I hurt even more. I wish I was human just so I could drown my sorrows and forget her for just a few damn hours. I don't even know where I'm going until I get there. I'm where Elena and I first met. When we were strangers. Sometimes I wish we were still so I don't have to feel like this. I lay down on the road and replay our meeting. I don't really wish that we were strangers. Without Elena in my life I wouldn't have a reason to live. Elena. She won't get out of my head for even a minute . I see headlights in the distance. They come closer and then they stop a few feet from where I lay. A woman gets out of the car.

" Oh my god are you okay? Do you need me to call someone?" She asks hesitantly.

I slowly get up.

" No use calling anyone. No one wants me. They probably wish I was all dead so I wouldn't bother them anymore. Hell, the girl I love is embarrassed by me. Do you even know what that feels like?" I ask stepping closer. She shakes her brown curls. She's not much older than Elena. I can smell her perfume and under that her blood.

" Well it sucks." I yell. " And it hurts. All I do is hurt. All I've done is hurt for the last freaking almost 200 years. There are only two ways to stop the hurt. One is momentary and the other one is indefinite. I can either drink your blood and kill you or I can turn the switch off."

Her eyes widen in fear and she nervously wrings her hands and steps back. " Please don't hurt me." She whispers.

" Its what's expected of me. People expect me to kill. This is just me living up to everyone' standards. Giving everyone another reason to judge me, to tell Elena that I'm not good for her. That she made a mistake. Because that's inevitable. Sooner or later she's going to listen to them and realize that she made a mistake. I'll be broken. I guess the sooner the better because I know the longer I'm with her, the longer I'm in love with her, the more her leaving me will hurt. So I guess now is a good time for her to leave me. Everyone always does." I yell. My voice cracks at the last part.

In a second I grab her and pin her against the car. I sink my fangs into her neck as she lets out a piercing scream. She struggles at first but her body limpens as I drain her blood.

Blood is smeared all over my face. And for just a second I'm on the blood high. I feel good. Nothing matters. I don't think about HER. The only thought running through my head is blood. But sadly it wears off. I'm left with the fact that I just caused another bump in the road. I lashed out. I wonder how many times she'll be able to forgive until she's finally had enough.

" I'm sorry Elena."

Thanks for sticking with the story! Go on and review, you know you want to… Cheers! xx


	13. Turn it Off

Hey everyone! So I apologize on my bipolarness. I swear I either write 3 chapters in a night or 1 every week. Haha I need to work on that! Anyways thank you to all of my loyal readers and reviewers, I love you. I apologize that this is such a short chapter. I'll have another one up tomorrow. Follow me on twitter kat_elizabeth for exclusives.

Now on to the good stuf….3

Elena's POV

I sit on the couch and wait for him to come back. Hours tick by and he doesn't come back. I think about going to find him but I'm afraid that would only make things worse. I sit on the couch and stare into the fire, hoping that hes back soon so I can make things right. Somehow I manage to fall asleep. When I wake up its pitch black outside. Damon stumbles in through the door. He looks completely broken. There is blood smeared all over the front of his shirt. His hair is disheveled and his jacket is torn. He looks at me with guilt, sadness and anger.

" Where were you Damon?" I ask quietly. I want so desperately to run over to him and hug him.

" Just around." He shrugs. He avoids me and slips of his jacket while heading to the bourbon bottle on the table.

" Are you ok?" I ask tentatively. He pours himself a drink and downs it. He turns to face me.

" What do you think Elena? Do you think I'm ok?" he yells. He's glaring at me now.

" Is there anything I can do to help?" I ask.

" Yeah, you can leave me alone." He scoffs. "Maybe if you weren't here to mess with my emotions I wouldn't be this alcoholic mess." He throws his empty glass into the fire place and it shatters.

" You don't mean that." I say stepping closer.

" Really? What if I do?" Would you leave me?" he asks. His eyes are ablaze.

"No." I say firmly. " I will never leave you."

" Why?" he asks me. " I would leave me. All I do is disappoint people."

" Shh, don't say that." I'm in front of him now. I hug him. He's tense. He pulls away from me.

" I killed someone." He tells me. His eyes search mine trying to see how angry I am. In the past I would have been furious. But now I can't really blame him. I did the exact same thing. When I was upset and broken because of Damon I did the same thing. I drank and I killed someone, just to make the pain go away.

" Aren't you going to yell at me? Refuse to speak to me? Run back to Stefan crying about what a monster I am?" he questions harshly.

" No." I reveal. " That would make me a hypocrite. Because when we fought and I was hurting so much I did the same thing. I just wanted the pain to stop. In the past I might have done that but things are different now. I understand why you did what you did and I can't blame you for that. "

He looks at me likes he wants to say something but doesn't know how. After a minute he responds. " I hoped that you would run back to Stefan." He says uncertainly.

My heart breaks.

" Why would you want me to go back to him Damon?" I ask.

" Because I'm no good for you." He tells me. " And I'm afraid that eventually you will think all this was a mistake."

" I'll never think that." I tell him. I walk closer to him and try to grab his hands. He pushes me out of the way.

" Really Elena? Never? That's a very long time for a vampire!" he yells. " Why on earth would you want to be with ME forever? Look at me! I'm an alcoholic killer! How can you not hate me? I hate me." He struggles to get the last part out and when he looks at me his eyes are ablaze.

" You should just go back to Stefan." He tells me.

" No, Damon. I-" I begin.

" No Elena. I'm serious. Go back to Stefan. I don't want to feel like this. I can't. It was easier when I was the bad guy. Go back to him. The sooner the better."

" The sooner the better?" I yell." You truly think that little of me, that I will eventually leave you?"

" Why wouldn't you?" he yells back. " Everyone always does!"

" Yeah, well I'm obviously not everyone. I'm a freaking doppleganger turned vampire!" I yell. I push him but he catches my hands.

" No one ever loved me Elena! Not my father, not Katherine. How can I expect you to?" he yells.

" Why the hell are you bringing Katherine into this? I am nothing like her!"

" Really? Because all she ever did was hurt and that's what you're doing right now. Both of you are a whole lot similar than people give you credit for." He yells.

I slap him.

He looks at me bewildered.

" How can you even think that I'm like her? All I've done is try NOT to be like her."

He throws his hands up in exasperation.

" Go back to Stefan Elena." He growls. He steps closer to me. I can see his shoulders heaving, his breath is ragged.

" Why are you doing this? Why are you lashing out?" I question him, backing away.

" Because the only thing I'm capable of is making a bump in the road!" he yells.

" You're making that quite clear!" I yell. " And I truly thought that maybe this could work. Hell I know it can still work, but only if you let me in."

He scoffs. " Come on Elena, you should know that I don't let anybody in."

" You let me in." I tell him.

" Yeah well that was a mistake. All you do is hurt me." He tells me angrily.

" I don't want to Damon." I tell him desperately.

" Look at us Elena! We haven't been together a week and we're already fighting! All we've done is fight! How do you expect this to work?" he asks his eyes search my face for an answer. He's right in front of me. I could kiss him he's close.

" It was so much easier when you were with Stefan wasn't it?" He begins." Both of you never fought, not like this."

" So who cares if we fight? We're going to have to work for this. Every single day. Its going to be hard. But aren't the best loves the ones we have to fight for?" I tell him.

" Stop with all of that true love is not a damn fairytale Elena! I'm not some freaking knight in shining armour!" He yells. He backs away from me and walks over to the fireplace and faces it.

" What will it take for you to see that I don't want Stefan? You're the ones who has saved me so many times. Like it or not Damon you have been my knight."

" I'm done being the good guy Elena!" he yells as he turns to face me.

" But you are good Damon! You just don't let anyone see it because you are afraid of getting hurt!"

" No I'm not. Just stop it Elena!"

"What do you want from me Damon?" I yell.

He turns so his back is facing me. I can't see his face.

" I don't want you. " he says.

"What?" I ask. He can't mean that. Not after everything. He CAN'T.

" I don't want you Elena. I don't love you." He says quietly.

I walk over to him. " Damon please don't say that."

" Why?" he scoffs.

" Because I love you." I tell him earnestly.

" Well how ironic is that?" he asks his eyes searching mine." The roles are reversed now. I was in love with you while you were smitten with Stefan. Now I don't love you and you love me."

" You can't just stop loving someone so quickly!" I yell at him.

" Yes you can."

"Oh god Damon no." I shake him. " Don't you dare turn it off!"

" I already did." He pushes past me and walks out the front door.

DUM DUM DUM. Did he really turn it off? Let me know what all of you think in a review! And what would you like to see next for our favorite couple?

Follow me on twitter kat_elizabeth for exclusives


	14. Care isn't the Right Word

Hello everyone! I know the last chapter wasn't all happiness and love for Delena but things get worse before they get better. Anyways, I'm so thankful to all of my loyal readers and reviewers.

Damon's POV

I don't know where I'm going. I just know its far away. I need to completely get Elena out of my life.

There are too many thoughts running through my head. For one, I can't believe that she would finally choose me. I can't. No one has EVER chosen me. So why would she? Plus, I'm no good for her whatsoever. All I'm going to do is disappoint her. She deserves so much more than the broken alcoholic killer that I am.

So I run away. Because I'm scared and I can't take getting hurt again. It's pathetic but I do it anyway. I swear I need to do something badass soon. My reputation is at stake.

All I know is that I'm lost in my thoughts. I'm driving on the road and there are no other cars out. Its pitch black outside. No signs of life.

I'm hoping the police don't stop me because if they piss me off I swear I'm going to chop off their head. I pity whatever waste of space crosses my path.

I'm pushing the speed limit, hell I'm 40 over.

All I know is that the quicker I leave Mystic Falls behind, the better. I don't even glance back. Not once.

I contemplate just leaving the damn country. And to be honest right now it sounds like a pretty good idea.

I keep driving until eventually I'm in Georgia. I see a sign for an airport and quickly make up my mind to go somewhere far away. 30 minutes later I pull up at the airport. Its early in the morning now. The sky is still dark and people are milling around for their early flights.

I enter into the airport and squint at the ungodly fluorescent in business suits are barking into cell phones while women chase after excited children. Its too bright, too loud and all the people are too happy.

I make my way to a desk. I have no idea where I'm going. I don't even realize that I say anything until the flight attendant repeats my words back to me.

" So, one for Florence, Italy?" she asks brightly. I take in her blond hair and bright pink lips and she reminds me of Caroline, which reminds me of Elena. Crap, I really need to get out of here.

I quickly compel her and receive my ticket.

I whisk through security and everything else by using my little vamp talents.

I sit down in a far corner of the waiting area away from all the people. I close my eyes and try to block out all of their annoying talking. I try to block out the noise of blood pumping through their bodies. I'm drunk and angry and I want to kill them all, drink all of their blood until their lifeless bodies fall to the floor. But most of all I'm trying to block out the one thing that truly threatens to drive me insane. Elena.

" Last call for boarding for Florence Italy." A voice over the intercom warns, waking me out of my trance.

For a second I hesitate. Should I really go, or should I go back and try to fix things with Elena? I decide to go with the first. If she wants this so bad she's going to have to fix it herself. I'm not going to make it easy for her, not this time.

I stroll up to the boarding gate and smirk as the lady standing there takes me in. She's somewhat hot, all big eyes and even bigger sun-streaked hair. She's tall and lean and stands with perfect posture.

" May I see your ticket?" she asks sweetly.

" Of course." I reply and hand her the ticket. Her fingers brush mine and she looks down demurely and hands it back.

" Enjoy your flight." She calls to me in a voice dripping with honey as I saunter away.

Southern girl, it's so obvious.

I walk through the tunnel and enter through the doors and am greeted by two more flight attendants. They're both perfectly made up and gorgeous, such a stereo type. Thank god, I'll have something to keep my mind off Elena; they're pretty good on the eyes.

I take my seat in first class. I'm sitting alone in the last row on the very left by the window.

A flight attendant comes by and I appreciatively take in her outfit. I wonder how she would taste 30,000 feet up in the air.

" Can I get you anything sir?" she purrs.

" Every bottle of alcohol you have back there." I smirk.

" I'll see what I can do." She smiles and brushes back her dark brown hair.

She quickly returns with a bottle of scotch. I thank her and manage to get her to leave the bottle with me. It is empty within the first hour. But I crave blood. The flight attendant, Jessica, returns shortly after I finish the bottle. " May I get you something else to quench your thirst sir?" she asks.

" Yes actually you can You're blood will do just fine." I tell her. Her eyes widen and she steps back but I compel and she follows me into one of the bathroom stalls.

Damn, those tight things.

I pull her in after me and there's barely any room. I put a hand over her mouth and sink in my fangs. She struggles but she has nowhere to go. I want to keep drinking but I control myself. I fix her scarf so the bite marks aren't visible. I look into her hazel eyes. " You remember none of this."

" I remember none of this." She repeats.

I quickly exit the stall and straighten my jacket and return to my seat.

4 bottles of bourbon and about 9 later I arrive in Italy.

Elena's POV

I'm freaking out. I honestly thought he would be back now. But he's not. It's getting dark and the fact that he is somewhere out there is killing me. Where the hell could he be? He couldn't have meant all that, it can't all be over before it even really started. But hey, I can't blame anyone but myself.

I don't want to be alone so I call Caroline. A few minutes later she comes in through the door and takes in my appearance. I'm wearing sweats and a v-neck and my hair is in a ponytail.

" Well, I guess someone is a nervous eater." She comments as she notices the bloodbags spewed on the ground around me.

" You could say that." I tell her as I collect the empty bloodbags and throw them in the trash. I sit on the couch and put my head in my hands.

" Elena, honey what's wrong?" she questions all full of caring and sincerity.

I tell Caroline everything.

After I spill, she just stares at me not saying anything. I'm shocked for once Caroline Forbes doesn't have an opinion. Or maybe she just doesn't want me to know it.

" Well?" I ask quietly.

" I mean, Elena I love you and all but you've put him through hell. I can't blame him that he doesn't believe that you really love him. I mean you had a pretty sudden change of heart and all." She says quickly.

" You don't think I care about him?" I ask.

" Elena you can't say care. You can't say you care about someone. That's like me saying I care about my grandma or I care about how my hair looks. Damon doesn't want you to care about him. He wants you to love him and be as passionate and protective of him as he is of you. He wants your thoughts to be consumed of him, because its pretty obvious you are all he thinks about. He wants you to want to be with him all the time, he wants you to never get enough of him. To be addicted to him. To love him as fiercely as he loves you. Damon doesn't care about you Elena. HE is completely and madly in love with you. Do you feel like that? Because if you do you have to tell him. You can't just give him and everyone else this halfhearted I care about Damon, sort of love him crap. Because after everything he's been through for you he deserves that." Caroline tells me. " But right now I think you need to give him some space, and let him figure things out. Clear his head. You can't push him Elena. He's waited for you to figure out your feeling for him for years, you owe him the same. And I know it will be hard, but it's what you need to do."

And I don't know what to say because she is completely and 100 percent right.

Damon consumes me. I can't get him out of head. I can't get enough of him. I'm addicted to him. I am fiercely and madly in love with him. I always have been, I've just done everything I could to ignore it, fight it.

Caroline gets up and straightens her skirt.

" I'm sorry Elena, but I really have to go. I'm meeting Tyler in a few." She smiles apologetically." But you know you can always call me ok?"

" Yeah I know, thanks Care." I hug her and she quickly leaves.

Once again I'm left alone in the house wanting to be anywhere but here.

I'm craving blood. I think I might be going out for a bite tonight. I just hope this time I can control myself because there's no one left to make sure I do.

Another update should be coming soon! Thanks to all of my loyal readers. Reviews are love!

Twitter kat_elizabeth


	15. No One to Pull You Back

Hello loves! I'm contemplating whether or not to continue with the story, I feel like people aren't reading it. I had such an amazing response in the beginning and I'm just not sure if people want me to continue. Anyways I hope all of you enjoy this chapter. Review this and let me know if you want me to continue this story with our favorite couple! 3

Elena's POV

This is a really bad idea. I can't do this. Coming to a bar full of people and blood? I wasn't thinking. All I hear is blood pumping through their veins. All I want is to drink and drink. I'm not going to want to stop. I can't concentrate on anything else. All I hear is heartbeats and its driving me insane.

I'm sitting alone at a bar about an hour from Mystic Falls. I almost smile at the thought that this is exactly what Damon does. Or at least used to. Its insanely late and only a few people are still wasting away at the bar. Its dimly lit and reeks of smoke, aftershave and alcohol.

I've already had my fair share vodka shots, probably enough to kill a living person. But still everything is heightened. I don't feel the least bit drunk. If anything, everything just hurts so much more. And it sucks because I want to get drunk. I want to not feel anything again, just for a night. Damn vampires and their ridiculously high alcohol tolerance levels.

A man sits beside. Well somewhere between boy and man. He looks to be in his early years of college. He has sandy blond hair and is surprising well dressed, almost as if he was going to a nice restaurant and not some bar.

He's had his fair share of alcohol and was mumbling about some ex-girlfriend to some girl who has long gone. In a way I feel sorry for him because I know how he feels. He's loved someone who left him, and the result is him drinking into oblivion at a bar. Life is tragic.

Its becoming increasingly harder to ignore his heartbeat beating under his polo.

I signal the bartender over and he looks at me long and hard. Hes somewhere in his thirties and has been talking about his "days in a rock band" to some bleach blonde on the other side of the bar.

" What can I get for you?" he asks huskily.

I glare at him. " Another shot for me and this guy" I say pointing to polo boy who is just a seat away from me. The boy turns to look at me as if noticing me for the first time.

" Anything for you." He says winking.I scoff. What a creep.

He slides over two shots and I scoot over to polo guy.

" Here's to broken hearts." I toast.

" That obvious?" He says smiling sadly.

" Takes one to know one." I say as we clink glasses. He downs his quickly.

I eventually learn that his name is Jake and all the details of his break up. We get up to leave the bar together. The bar is empty expect for the bartender, and I can feel his eyes on my ass as we exit the bar. Jake stops and turns to me.

" Why were you so nice to me?" He asks.

I glance around at the empty parking lot. There's only one lamplight on the other corner. No one is around. No one will see this.

" Because what I'm about to do to you could kill you." I tell him.

In a whirlwind I've pushed him against the side of the building my arms firmly around him. His eyes are filled with fear and I can hear his heartbeat quicken. I sink in my fangs and my world explodes. Its all alcohol and blood fusing together. Its taste so damn good. I'm on a high. The warm liquid is running down my throat, coating my lips, dripping onto my shirt. I can't think, I don't want to. It taste SO good. I can't remember my name. I can't remember his name. I hear his heartbeat grow fainter and I don't care. His body is growing limp and I dig my fangs in farther. I know I should stop but I don't want to. I drink until his heartbeat stops. I drink until there's no more blood. I drop his body to the ground and lift up my head. Blood drips from my chin to the ground, staining his polo. I lick the blood off my lips savoring the taste. I stare at the body on the ground yet I feel nothing. The only thing I feel is the craving for more blood.

I enter the bar again and this time when the bar tender looks at me its not with want, its with fear. I'm sure I look horrifying with blood all over my face and stains on my shirt. Before he even has a chance to speak I've pushed him into the bar and sunken my fangs in. Impossibly, its even better this time. I wonder is it just keeps getting better. Soon, too soon, for my liking. He's dead and his blood is drained dry. I've killed another person yet I feel no remorse.

I go back outside and drag in Jake's dead body. For a few minutes I stare at the two men and try to figure out how best to cover my tracks. We're a good bit out of Mystic Falls but I'm still wary of the Council and their new vampire knowledge.

"Damn it Alaric." I mutter.

I rummage through the back of the bar and find matches. And a gasoline tank in the storage room. How practical. I easily carry the heavy tank over to the front of the bar and drench the bodies and a good portion of the bar in gasoline. All it takes is for me to drop a few matches when I leave for the place to ignite. I exit the bar quickly and sit on my car.

I watch the flames contently as I lick the last remaining blood droplets off my face.

I almost feel like a part of me has died. The innocent, human Elena is dead. Yes I killed once before, the man on the highway, but I didn't know what I was doing. This time I do exactly what I was doing. I knew I was killing them. I knew I should stop when their heartbeat slowed, when their breathing became irregular. But I didn't. No one was here to save me and I don't want to be saved. Right now I feel good. I feel powerful and dependent and on a high. I feel unstoppable. I want to feel like this forever.

The flames soon die down and I get back in the car. I put my hands on the steering wheel. I don't want to go back to Mystic Falls. I want to go somewhere else. Somewhere no one knows me, somewhere no one can judge me.

I decide to leave in the morning; I need to pack some things first. I make the drive back home rather quickly. I suppose that happens when you're going way over the legal speed limit. But who cares? I'm a vampire. I'm immortal and invincible. I don't need to be scared of another damn car or the police.

I arrive back at the boarding house. The house is still empty and I'm still alone. I walk up the old staircase and I don't even realize it but I go into Damon's room. The smell is so uniquely Damon. It smells like expensive aftershave , alcohol, blood and something somewhat sweet and musky. I just stand in the doorway taking in everything so uniquely Damon.

The room is unchanged. The bed still unmade. You wouldn't even know that he was gone. In a way he wasn't, I wouldn't let myself believe that he was gone. I crawled into the bed and pulled the blankets all around me, enveloping me in his scent. For hours I just waited, hoping that he would walk in through that door and climb into bed with me. He would tell everything was ok and I would apologize. Everything would be fixed. But he didn't come. He didn't climb into bed. So I fell asleep in Damon's bed wanting nothing else but for him to be beside me.

Thanks for reading! Let me know if you want me to continue this story in a review!

I own nothing from the Vampire Diaries, all rights go to the owners.


	16. Fancy Meeting You Here

Massive thank you to all of my readers, especially all of you who reviewed! Seeing all of your encouraging reviews made me realize why I was writing in the first place, A) because I love to and B) what I just said. Anyways I'm going to continue with this story and I hope that all of you will continue to read it. What do all of you think about ripper Elena? Let me know what you want to happen next for her. Oh, and Damon of course (;

Damon's POV

Italy is one of those places you have to go to to even comprehend. Its beautiful in every aspect of the word. The weather, the women, the food and the centuries old wine lying around everywhere. As soon as I leave the airport I hail a taxi. I have no clue as to where I am going. I quickly get in a taxi and tell the middle-aged man in the front seat to take me to the nicest hotel in Florence. He nods his bald head eagerly and tells me he knows of the perfect place. The drive is short but I can already see the rolling hills covered in vineyards and villas. The landscape is picturesque and unreal. As I watch the sun go down I temporarily forget about Elena.

The taxi pulls up to a huge hotel. Its pinkish and orange and has a terracotta roof. Balconies line every floor. I quickly pay the driver in the euros I got at the airport. I step out of the car and and walk into the hotel. I secure the penthouse suite on the top floor and make my way to the elevator. I catch sight of a mane of long brown hair.

Elena.

She starts walking away and I follow her. She turns corners and soon we are in a courtyard. She stops. I put my hand on her shoulder. " You can't be here." I tell her. The girl turns around. She isn't Elena. Not even close. Her smile doesn't make me want to smile. Her eyes hold no warmth or compassion.

"Better." She says twirling a curl around a finger. " Me." She smirks.

" Katherine what the hell are you doing here?" I growl.

" Oh stop with the badass act." She rolls her eyes. " I just wanted a change of scenery. Or maybe I just wanted to have some fun with you" She says. " I assume you being here has everything to do with a certain doe eyed baby vamp. Is all not well in paradise?"

" Was it ever?" I question.

She looks me up and down and steps closer. " All those emotions must be confusing for her. And you." She smirks.

" Shut up Katherine. " I say roughly. " I just needed to get away from Mystic Falls."

She stares me down." You mean away from Elena. Tell me Damon, did she finally tell you she loves you? Can you just not handle that? Took her long enough, everyone could see past her " I will always choose Stefan" lie. " she challenges me.

I push past her. " You have no idea what you're talking about Katherine."

She follow me and pushes me against one of the walls in the courtyard.

" Oh but I do Damon." She pouts. " You've always been so damn easy to read. Well, at least for me. I just don't understand. You finally got what you wanted. Elena. Yet you're here of all places. You left her when she needed you most. In her most unpredictable, violent stage. You know how she is, with her whole saint complex. What do you think is going to happen if she kills someone? Shes not going to forgive herself and she's certainly not going to forgive you for leaving her. And we both know Damon, forever for a vampire is a very long time." She tells me as she slides her hamd down my chest.

I grab her hand before she reaches the waist band of my jeans. " She has Caroline and I'm sure she has gotten a hold of Stefan by now. So now she'll have Stefan and Caroline. She'll be fine. She doesn't need me." I say as I slip away from her grasp.

" You know that's not true Damon. You are her god damn knight in shining armor, always saving her. You always protect her, though I can never figure out why. She's changed you and you've changed her. For some reason you two are drawn too each other. Don't act like its not true Damon. But right now you're messing up." She tells me.

" Why are you suddenly acting like you care about Elena. We both know that you hate her. So why pretend that you care if she's happy? Especially if she's happy with me?"

" Oh Damon, of course I don't care about Elena. All I want is for her to be….occupied." she says pouting her lips in a way she must think is seductive.

" And there it is. You want Elena out of the picture because you want Stefan." I scoff." You really haven't changed a bit Katherine. I'm done with this." I turn to leave.

" You're no fun. Are you sure you don't want to stay for a bit? We could catch and have some dinner. There are some Italian boys that look absolutely _delicious. _Care for a bite?" she asks.

" Goodbye Katherine." I tell her as I leave the courtyard and enter the hotel once again.

/

Elena's POV

Caroline's called 4 times. She calls a fifth time as I enter Tennesee. I don't answer but I listen to the voicemail.

" Elena where are you? I went to the Boarding House to check up on you and you were gone. Damon was too. You're not with him are you? He's not picking up his phone either. I swear to God Elena if you don't pick up I will get a hold of Stefan and we will find you and bring you back. I have a bad feeling about this Elena. Are you okay? Just please call me back. Please. I'm worried about you."

The thing is, I don't want to be found.

For once I don't feel vulnerable or broken. I can do anything, be anyone. I can go anywhere, I'm thinking about going to New York. Somewhere I can start fresh. I don't have to be the poor girl who lost too many people. I don't have to be the girl who always needs rescuing. I can be powerful and in control of my life, something I've always wanted to feel. I'm trying to not think about last night and the bodies. If I do, I fear I'll be paralyzed. I'll be paralyzed by the thought that I killed two people. The worst part is that I enjoyed it and in the back of my mind I can't stop my craving for blood. Blood. The word won't get out of my head. Even as I turn the radio higher and try to focus on the beat the thought of it consumes me.

The taste of it coating my lips, running down my throat is enough to make me do anything to get it. The promise of that high I get will make me kill people and no one's here to stop me. I stare into the sky as I continue to drive. It's a lovely blue, hypnotizing. So hypnotizing that I threaten to get lost in it.

Damon.

That's what that color blue reminds me of, his eyes. And when I think of Damon, that's when all the hurt and guilt comes rushing back to me. All of those emotions threaten to consume me. Just his name alone brings back so many memories, so many good ones. I miss him more than anything in the world, and he's gone. I have absolutely no idea where he is. The thought of what we had, so shortly, but lost is enough to make me want to turn it off. I can't help it. I just know that I don't want to feel like this. The only things that take away the pain and the heartbreak is blood and the switch.

So I guess that is the reason for me killing two innocent people and leaving Mystic Falls. It's the reason for me not caring about anything or anyone and leaving it all behind. I'm desperately trying not to feel.

I've been driving for hours and I'm anxious to get off the road. I see a sign for Nashville. After driving for a half hour I enter the city. Its loud and busy and bright. Its perfect for me to get my mind off things.

I pull up to the first hotel I see and retrieve my luggage from the trunk. The hotel is full people. Men in jeans and button downs try to sweet talk women with sun streaked hair in lace dresses. I make my way over to the front desk and see a middle aged woman talking on the phone. When she sees me she hangs up and smiles. " How can I help you?" she asks in a soft southern accent.

" One room for tonight." I tell her.

She nods quickly. " What form of payment will you be using?" she questions.

I look directly in her eyes " No form of payment will be necessary for me. You will not ask again or remember me or this conversation."She repeats my words back to me and I grab the key.

I enter my room and sit down on the bed.

Something feels horribly wrong.

Thanks for reading loves! Reviews are loved. Cheers Xx


	17. You Left Her

I don't the Vampire Diaries. All right go to the owners.

I just want to apologize to all of you for not updating as often as I would like to. Life keeps getting in the way. Anyways, massive thanks to all of my readers. I love you guys. I don't think all of you understand how happy I get when I get a notification for a review or if you follow my story. So really, thank you. Review if you loved it or tell me why if you didn't. Oh, and seriously CW? October 11th is just too far away.

Twitter kat_elizabeth

Elena's POV

I can sense it. Damon once told me that as a vampire you can really sense things, especially people dead or alive. In a second I turn around and see a the outline of a figure in the corner of the room. Its dark and I can only tell that it's a male. Damn, all that alcohol has messed up my sight.

" Who the hell are you?" I ask. I mean to sounds fierce but I'm afraid my voice falters.

" It doesn't matter." the voice replies. "But I know you are Elena Gilbert. Klaus is alive and he's coming for you." And in a second the figure's gone.

I stand there in the dark not moving for what feels like forever replaying the words in my head. Klaus is alive. Its impossible but then again, he never seemed like the type who would just die. My first instinct is to call Damon. I reach for my phone but instantly drop it like I've been burned. I can't call him. Not now. Besides, I doubt he'd even answer.

I feel strange in the room, like a sitting duck. So I quickly grab my bag and make my way back out to the car. The lady at the front desk gives me an odd stare as do a few other people. I imagine I'm quite a mess to look at. My hairs a mess and I'm pretty sure my makeup is everywhere.

I avoid looking at anyone else and quickly put my luggage in my trunk. I back out and start driving. It takes me about an hour to figure out that I have no idea where the hell I'm going. I'm driving aimlessly. Woohoo for lonely roadtrips. My heart clenches at the thought. Road trips were Damon and I's thing. I hit the steering wheel with my fist and the horn blares, waking me up from my pathetic thoughts.

My phone starts ringing again. Maybe if I answer, Caroline will finally start calling me all the damn time. " What?" I ask harshly holding the phone to my ear with one hand.

" Elena."

Its not Caroline, its Stefan. Oh. I was not expecting that.

" Stefan." I say. Its odd that just a voice can stir so many emotions. Pain, bitterness, heartbreak and pity.

"Are you okay?" he asks softly but quickly.

I don't understand how he can still care about me after everything I've put him through. But hearing his caring voice pulls me in. Its almost like I can hear a voice in the back of my mind. It tells me to care. To turn it back on. The switch is off. I wonder if that's even possible or its just a trick of the mind. The mind protecting the heart from feeling all the pain.

" Elena are you there?" he asks worriedly.

" Yes, Stefan." I say tiredly. " What do you want?"

" Where are you? Caroline's worried about you and… I am too. She called me. I came back to Mystic Falls. You were gone and so was Damon. Did something happen?"

" Nothing that you would be sad about." I mutter bitterly.

" Hey, I've had time to think Lena. If he makes you happy, then hell, there's nothing I can do about it." He says.

"Y'all don't need to worry about me." I say. " I'm fine. For once, I'm fine. Nothing hurts. I'm okay." I tell him quickly.

" Shit, Elena. God no, don't you dare tell me you turned it off." He says angrily.

" Then I won't tell you." I respond cooly as I hang up the phone.

/

Stefan's POV

" Elena, are you there?" I ask. The only response I get is the beeping of a dead line.

Caroline looks up at me worriedly from her seat on the couch. I run my fingers through my hair and close my eyes.

" She's turned it off Caroline." I whisper. If she wasn't a vampire I don't think she would've heard me.

" No, Stefan. Its Elena. Elena would never do that." She says hurriedly his eyes wide.

" This isn't the Elena we know Caroline. This is vampire Elena. The one that kills and doesn't care." I explain.

Caroline just looks at me unbelieving. " But why would she turn it off?" she asks quietly as she tilts her head.

" Who is the one person that drives Elena to extremes, who makes her crazy and she loves enough to break her?" I ask looking down at my hands.

" Damon." She says slowly.

" Yes, Damon." I say bitterly.

Suddenly Caroline's in front of me. She puts her arms around me and hugs me.

" I'm so sorry for everything Stefan." She says into my shoulder.

" Its not your fault." I smile sadly.

" Stefan, listen to me." She says pulling away slightly. " You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be loved. Everyone does. I know right now, you don't think you do. You think that you've done so many cruel things that you think no one is capable of loving you. But you deserve someone who will love you just as much as you love them." She smiles.

" Thanks Caroline." I say. " you're a good friend."

She smiles.

" And since we're both Elena friends we owe it to her to save her from herself." I tell her.

" Right." She nods eagerly. " Do you have any idea where she is?"

" No, but we need to find out."

" I have an idea." Caroline says quickly.

/

Damon's POV

Italy had a way of putting you in a lazy mood. Maybe it was all the pasta, the hot sun or how relaxing everything was. I'm sitting on the balcony of my hotel room drinking some wine as the sun sets. For once in a long time I feel calm. Until my damn phone starts to ring.

"Shit." I curse.

I dig through my leather jacket to try to find my phone. Its Stefan. " What do you want?" I ask annoyed.

"Its Elena." He says.

I immediately sit up straighter.

" What do you mean?" I ask quickly.

" Well Damon, you left her. Brilliant idea I might add." He said bitterly his voice growing louder.

" Damn it Stefan! We wouldn't even be in this messed up situation if you had saved her instead of Matt."

" What was I supposed to do Damon? I did what she wanted!" he says angrily.

" Well, bravo Stefan. Now we have a vampire and the world has another damn quarterback!" I yell into the phone.

" Yes, we have a vampire. One who left Mystic falls and is leaving a trail of bodies behind her!" Stefan says harshly. " You left her Damon."

No. Elena's full of compassion and the fierce, usually annoying, determination to do the right thing. She wouldn't just go on a killing spree.

" Why would Elena do that?" I ask.

" You know the answer better than I do. It might have to with the fact that something happened to the two of you and you skipped town. Leaving her and all her heightened emotions alone. " he says.

I stand up and start pacing on the narrow balcony. I run my hands through my hair.

" I didn't leaver her alone Stefan. She had Caroline, Bonnie, Jeremy and Matt. But if she's gone we have to find her. I have to find her Stefan. Before she does anything else to regret. Do you know where she is?" I question.

" We traced her call a little while ago. She was in Tennessee but I doubt she's staying in the same place for long."

" You talked to her?" I ask quickly. " Did she sound okay?"

Stefan sighs. " You're not going to want to hear this Damon." He says slowly.

I sit back down on the chair.

" Elena didn't sound okay. Damon, she said she didn't feel anymore."

Oh god. The one thing that I feared most has happened all because I couldn't let her in. She's turned it off. I put my head in one of my hands and close my eyes tightly. I picture her the last time I saw her and what she said to me.

" _I don't want you. " I tell her harshly. _

"_What?" she asks. Her eyes fill with confusion. She tilts her head to the side._

" _I don't want you Elena. I don't love you." I say quietly._

_She walks over to me. She reaches out but then pulls her hands back to her sides. She looks at me unsure._

_. " Damon please don't say that." She says softly._

" _Why?" I scoff. _

" _Because I love you." She says earnestly. Her eyes are full of fierce determination. God, I love her. But I have to do this. Before either of us gets any more hurt._

" _Well how ironic is that?" I search her eyes." The roles are reversed now. I was in love with you while you were smitten with Stefan. Now I don't love you and you love me." She steps back like I've hit her._

" _You can't just stop loving someone so quickly!" she yells. _

" _Yes you can."I tell her. It's a lie. I don't think even turning off my emotions would stop the love I have for her. Its too big._

"_Oh god Damon no." She is quickly in front of me and her hands are on my shoulders. Her eyes are full of tears. " Don't you dare turn it off!" _

" _I already did." I push past her. My chest feels like it will explode. I look back just once. She looks at me shocked. She shakes her head slightly as if silently pleading for me not to leave. I walk out the front door and hear a muffled sob as I slam the door. That's when my heart breaks._

" Damon are you still there?" Stefan asks waking me up from my memory.

" Yeah, I'm here." I say. " I'm coming back Stefan. I'm going to find her."

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Twitter kat_elizabeth


	18. The City

Hello loves! Massive thanks to all of you, I love you. Some of you have been wondering how to contact me. You can do that on twitter kat_elizabeth. Anyways I hope all of you enjoy this chapter. Things are getting better! I know, I know. Y'all are missing your Delena. Don't worry they'll be together soon. But seriously, I love you guys. Okay, enough with all the mushy stuff. Now on to our favorite badass(;

Damon's POV

I've finally arrived back in Mystic Falls. It feels strange knowing that Elena isn't here. I keep expecting to see her. But I don't. I pull up to the Boarding House and it seems darker. I quickly exit the car and walk inside. Stefan, Caroline, Jeremy and Matt are sitting in the living room talking earnestly.

Stefan gets up from one of the chairs when I enter and walks over to me. "Damon." He nods.

"Stefan." I respond. " So have any of you gotten any more leads?" I question as I sit down next to Caroline.

" Other than tracing the phone call we haven't had any more luck. But I think she's heading North." Caroline says. She looks at me from under her lashes like shes trying to determine what I'm going to do next.

" Well. That's not very much." I say grimly. " And here I was thinking you were going to play Nancy Drew." I smirk.

Caroline scoffs. " As if. I just want to help find Elena." She says.

I glance over at Stefan who is standing with his arms crossed.

" So whats the plan?" I ask looking around. Everyone just looks back at me solemnly. Fantastic.

" Well this is just great." I say standing up.

" Damon, calm down." Stefan says.

" Don't tell me to calm down Stefan!" I say loudly. " Not when its Elena."

He stares at me.

" You think I still don't care about her?" he asks angrily.

" Then why aren't you doing more to find her? If you really cared about her you'd be doing more than trying to trace phone calls. You'd be out there trying to actually find her."

The only response I get is Stefan's cold stare.

That's when Bonnie walks in. " I might be able to help." She says determinedly. My eyes immediately shift from my brother to the witch. She's holding her family's grimoire in her hands.

" How's that?" I question.

She walks to stand by everyone. " I might be able to use a tracker spell to figure out where she is." Bonnie says.

" What do you need?" I ask quickly.

" Something of hers. Anything. I can use it to make the connection. The only thing is it will only show us where she is currently, and we don't know how long she'll be in one place."

Jeremy pulls out a bracelet from his pocket. He gives it to Bonnie. He looks at our surprised faces. " I just wanted to have something of here with me." He says looking down.

" Okay, then." Bonnie says. She gives Jeremy a soft smile.

She calls out for candles and other witch crap and everyone begins to get things. I just stand there, afraid of messing something up and the spell not working. I never understood this witch stuff anyway.

Bonnie sits on the ground and the candles surrounded her. With the lights off the candles cast shadows everywhere. The book and a map is laid out in front of her and she starts muttering the holds the bracelet in her hands. The candle's flames rise and then quickly go out.

Bonnie opens her eyes and looks at the map.

" Elena's in New York City." She says slowly while looking at us.

"I'm going to get her." I say as I grab my leather jacket and head for the door. Stefan grabs me by my shoulder and turns me around. I look at his hand on my shoulder to his eyes glaring.

" We need to figure this out. We need to have a plan." Stefan says.

" I have a plan Stefan. I'm going to find Elena and I'm going to bring her back." I tell him.

I turn to leave and Stefan puts his hand on my shoulder again.

" If you try to stop me from leaving one more time I swear to God that chair leg will be in your stomach." I say angrily.

He drops his hand but returns my glare.

" Then I'm coming with you." He says fiercely.

" You lost the priviledge of coming to her rescue when you left her to drown. You don't get to come!" I growl.

" You think I wanted this to happen? I'm coming." He says pushing me.

I'm going to kill him. That's the only thought going through my head before Caroline steps between us. She's facing Stefan.

" Stefan maybe you should stay here. If y'all kill each other on the road its not going to help Elena." Caroline says softly. Stefan is still glaring at me.

" Stefan, please." He glances down at her and his eyes soften. He nods at me and steps back.

I start to the door again and Jeremy calls out. " Hey Damon?" I turn around at the front door. " Bring my sister back." He says.

I nod. " I'm not coming back without her."

Elena's POV

I am in New York City. I'm not really sure how I got here. After Tennessee I just kept driving. The road is pretty much empty and everything was quiet. I felt calm. I don't know how long I drove I just know that it was long enough for day to turn into night to day again. I saw a sign for New York a few hours back.

I remember when I was younger and my mom asked me what I wanted to do I would tell her I wanted to be a writer. I had it all planned out too. I would go to college and move to New York. I would meet some great guy and we would get married and have kids. We would have a big house outside of the city with a dog, preferably a lab. It would be perfect.

But that didn't happen. That never will happen.

So, I took all the exits to New York and I'm finally here. In a place I've always dreamed of. I can go anywhere now and do anything.

I remember talking to Caroline when we were little about running away to New York. Caroline wanted to have a big wedding at the Plaza and marry some rich business man. She said she could just shop all day and plan parties while her husband worked. She denies it now. I smile at the memory. It makes me wonder if she had the right idea. I could start a new life here. I could charm my way into some guy's life. The idea seems so horrible though, something Katherine would do. But then I think of Damon and how much I want to forget about him and Mystic Falls. I pull my car up to the Plaza and get out of the car. The hotel employees retrieve my luggage and I hand one of them the keys to park my car.

I make my way into the lobby and watch all the beautiful and rich again I compel the woman at the front desk and receive my room keys. I make my way up to my room to shower and change into some fresh clothes. The room is breathtaking and huge. I'm overwhelmed by the dark wood and gold accents. I nod at the man as he puts down my suitcases and leave. I stand in the shower and turn the water on as hot as I can stand. It turns my skin red and raw as I try to clear my head. Once I'm out of the shower. I put on the one of the dresses I brought. I had stuffed it at the back of my closet in Mystic Falls saying it wasn't "me." I guess its "me" now. It's a burgundy lace dress and hits just above my knees. Its 3 quarter length and has a scoopneck. I put my hair in a low bun and leave my hotel room. I have no idea where I'm going. I just want to experience the beautiful city. I run smack dab into a man. He's tall with blonde hair.

" I'm so terribly sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going." He smiles.

" It was my fault. I'm Elena." I say extending my hand.

" Pleased to meet you Elena." He responds warmly. " I'm Jack. You must let me make it up to you. Can I buy you dinner?"

" Sure." I nod.

We walk into the elevator together. Jack pushes the button for the lobby and I catch sight of a Rolex.

" So Jack, what brings you to New York?" I ask as I smooth down my dress.

" I actually live here. Well, I'm looking for a house right now. Until then, the Plaza is my home." He says. " What about you Elena? What brings you here?"

" Many things." I shrug. " Mostly just trying to get away from my old life and certain people."

" Were you not happy in your old life? With certain people?" he asks tentatively.

" I went through some big changes." I say slowly. I close my eyes and remember the truck driving off Wickery Bridge and waking up in the hospital. I shudder. " I'm not the same person anymore, no matter how much I wish I could change the past. "

Jack nods. "And the certain people? "

" To put it simply, he broke my heart. Now I don't care about anyone or anything. I don't feel anymore." I say.

Jack studies my face.

" Broken hearts get better with time. Trust me, I've had my fair share." He says grimacing.

All I have is time.

Thanks for reading! Don't worry Delena is coming up soon3 Review are loved.


	19. Tears are Streaming

Hell loves! Sorry its been so long since I've updated. Anyways I think all of you will like this chapter, if you know what I mean (; Anyways massive thanks to all of my loyal readers and reviewers! I love all of you!

All credit goes to the owners of Vampire Diaries.

Twitter kat_elizabeth

Elena's POV

Jack walks me back up to my room after dinner. He asks me to go to some ball with him tomorrow. I vaguely remember accepting. All I hear is the blood pumping through his veins. Its was getting worse all through dinner. Now we're in the elevator and I want so desperately just to feed on him. But I have to be careful. New York is full of people. People that will find it strange is bodies are drained of blood. And where am I supposed to dispose of these bodies? I have no clue. So I'm left with one option. I'm going to have to stop. I still don't know if I can though. Once I start drinking, I have no intention of stopping. But I have to control myself.

Jack stops and turns to me. We've arrived back at my room.

" Are you okay?" he asks worriedly. My eyes snap up to his face.

" Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine." I say. I close my eyes and try to ignore his heartbeat.

" Do you want to come inside?" I ask.

Jack smiles.. " Sure, that'd be nice."

I pull the room key out and swipe it to unlock the door. We both step into the room.

Damn it.

I immediately push Jack against the door and sink my fangs into his neck. I place one hand over his mouth so people won't hear him. He struggles at first. They always do. I try to remember what Damon taught me, about stopping when the heartbeat grows faint.

Its probably the hardest thing I've ever done. I release my grip from him and Jack falls to the floor clutching his neck. His eyes are wild and he stares up at me in horror.

" What are you?" he whispers.

I crouch down so I'm eye level with him.

" I'm a vampire." I tell him. " But you won't remember any of this. All you remember is that you walked me back to my room and said goodnight. You unfortunately attempted suicide but it didn't work. You are going to go clean yourself up and bandage your neck. You will still take me to the ball tomorrow as if this never happened."

Jack eyes glaze over and he repeats the words back to me. He gets up and exits my room. I lean against the door and close my eyes. I stopped. I can't believe it but I actually stopped myself. A small smile formed on my lips. Maybe I could get through this.

Damon's POV

I arrive in New York City the next day. People crowded the sidewalks in black business suits. Concrete covers the streets and grey buildings rose up from the ground, towering stories above. Bonnie called to give me the exact location of where Elena was staying, the Plaza. Seriously Elena? You choose one of the most populated cities in the world to live in while you're a binge drinker. Well done, Elena. You just picked a place where millions of people are tempting you to feed on them. A place where millions of heartbeats are beating. Really now, bravo.

I pull up to the Plaza and hand the keys to the valet. I grab my luggage out of the trunk. I notice a few women throw appreciative glances my way and smirk. As soon as I walk into the hotel I notice a sign for a ball tonight open for all hotel guests. Elena can't turn down a dance.I want to see how she reacts in a crowd. Just how far gone she is. I make my way to the front guest and request a room. The lady hands me my keys and smiles.

The ball starts in two hours. In two hours I will finally see Elena again.

Elena's POV

I stare at the dress on the bed. Its navy and vaguely reminds me of the dress I wore at Miss Mystic Falls and that reminds me of Damon. Damn it. I slip the dress on. I have to say Jack picked out a beautiful dress. Its fitted on top with a sweetheart neckline and the bottom flows out. I curl my hair and pull it to the side. I finish just as Jack knocks on the door.

" You look gorgeous." He says sweetly.

I smile. " Thanks." He extends his arm and I take it. We make our way downstairs to the main ballroom. It's a huge room with dimmed chandeliers. People are dancing slowly in every color dress imaginable.

" Would you like to dance?" Jack asks.

I look up at him and nod. " Sure."

Jack leads me out to the middle of the dance floor and we sway to the music. I close my eyes and try to ignore all of the heartbeats.

When I open them my heart stops. I'm met by piercing blue eyes. Damon. He's leaning against one of the columns in a tux. He looks breathtaking, the same he always looks impossibly better, his hair even darker and eyes brighter. He's staring at me with such an intensity that I can't breathe. Same eyes and body that puts Greek Gods to shame. I stare at him for just a second, desperately confused. I feel nothing. I close my eyes for a second and when I open them he's gone. I don't even know if it was real. There's no way Damon could be here.

" Are you okay?" Jack asks noticing my awestruck face.

" I'm fine, I just thought I saw someone." I say still looking around.

The orchestra starts up a new song and everyone forms a line, men on one side and women on the other. Jack is still facing me. We rotate each other a few times. Then we hold hands and walk in a circle. The music suddenly changes and I'm in Jack arms again. He twirls me and a pair of strong hands wrap around my waist. I look up and see Damon.

" Damon." I breathe.

" Hello Elena." He says.

" What are you doing here?" I ask harshly.

" Oh you know, just playing hero, the usual." He says smirking.

" Well, I don't want to be saved." I say. I meet his blue eyes and his smirk disappears.

He pulls me closer, our bodies are pressed together. " You have two options." He whispers in my ear. " You can leave with me and we can deal with this calmly. Or I will throw you over my shoulder and bring you back by force." He says.

" I'm not leaving with you Damon. I'm fine." I say trying to tug away from his iron grip. He doesn't budge.

" You're fine Elena? So you just killed all those people because you're fine? Tell me, that you don't hear every heartbeat in this room pounding. Tell me the thirst isn't driving you insane." He says quickly. " Tell me all your emotions aren't threatening to consume you? "His eyes are ablaze.

" What emotions?" I scoff. " I don't feel anything. What part of that don't you understand?"

Damon runs a hand through his hair. " Damn it Elena." He pulls me by my arm out of the ballroom and into the courtyard. Its dark outside but the moon lights up the courtyard casting silver light on everything.

Damon pushes me up against the wall. He's holding onto my arms and I'm desperately trying to get free.

" Damon stop it." I say." why are you doing this?"

"Because you have to feel something, anything." He tells me.

" Why Damon? So I can hurt again?" I ask loudly. " You left me Damon. You left me and I was broken. I needed you and you just left. Why? I don't even know."

" What do you feel for me?" he asks. His eyes search my face like he's trying to read me.

" I don't know Damon. I hate how you left me. I hate how you think you're not worthy of me. I hate how you run away when things get bad. Most of all I hate how I still love you."

He shakes his head. " But you still feel. No matter how hard you try not to you still feel." His eyes meet mine. We're inches apart. I can feel his breath n my face. His eyes search my face and soften for a moment.

" I can make you feel love again." He whispers.

His lips are suddenly on mine. He kisses me hard. I forget everything, why I was trying so desperately not to feel. All I feel is his love and devotion. His lips kiss me like he can somehow make me feel, like they can make me me again.

He pulls away and stares at me. " I still love you." He says.

Just like that all my emotions swallow me. Its like I've built a dam to protect myself but now its broken. They all pour over me. All the guilt, heartbreak and sadness.

"Oh god, Damon." I breathe. " I still love you too."

His eyes light up and he kisses me again. This time its long and slow. Our kisses mix with my tears and I taste salt. I pull him closer to me and he wraps his arms around me.

" I'm so sorry I left you." He tells me between kisses.

I pull back. " Its not your fault." I say quietly.

"Damon, I've made so many mistakes." I look up at him. " I've killed people." I whisper. I start crying again and the sobs wrack my body. " I'm a monster."

"No, Elena. Look at me." He stares down at me determinedly. " You are not a monster. You aren't. I hate to tell you but you're just like the rest of us. We make mistakes. You're not held to some imaginary golden standard. We've all killed people. You just have to learn that killing at least one person is inevitable." He tells me.

" But Damon, I killed them for no reason." I cry. " I killed them because I wanted to feed. They had lives and families. And I killed them."

" Shh." Damon whispers. I lean my head on his shoulders and he kisses the top of my head.

" We'll get through this Elena. We always do."

Hope you liked it! Review what you want to happen next between them! Cheers xx

Twitter kat_elizabeth


	20. Endless Possibilities

HELLO AGAIN.

I know, I know. I've been horrible and I've neglected this story. I'M SORRY. Life has been really hectic for me and school started up. But a massive thanks to everyone who is still reading and reviewing! I LOVE You. So enough with me and on to Damon and Elena.

We sat in a comfortable silence in the car. His hand was draped lazily over the steering wheel while the other held mine, his thumb gently rubbing circles on the top of my hand. Its strange how one simple touch can mean so many things. How I can feel so may things. I look at Damon and I can feel my heart swell. I love him so damn much. How I denied myself that I felt anything these past few weeks is a mystery. I feel. I feel so much sometimes that it threatens to consume me, to swallow me whole. Even as a human my feelings for Damon were enough to cause me sleeplessness for nights. Even as a human his touch lit my skin on fire. Now everything was magnified. He still loved me despite everything I put him through. I know I don't deserve him. But I will spend forever trying to be worthy of his love.

He turns to look at me and I'm captivated by his eyes.

" What are you thinking about?" he says quietly. A ghost of a smile traces his lips before his eyes return to the empty road.

I study his face. " Kissing you." I smile.

Damon steps on the brake and the car immediately stops. He opens his door and runs to my side and pulls me out of the car. He pushes me up against the door and leans his head against mine.

" Then kiss me." He mutters against my lips.

Our lips collide and that warm feeling returns to right below my stomach. Damon bites my lower lip and I moan into the kiss. I can feel him smile. He's too damn good at this and he knows it. Well, two can play at that game. I tug on his belt loops and press my hips against his. I pepper kisses down and up his neck. I kiss the sweet spot behind his ear as I run my hands down his chest. I push my lower body into him and he makes a growling noise.

" Damn it Elena." He moans against my neck. I pull his face back up to mine and kiss him slowly. I thread my fingers through his hair. His hands trail up and down my waist leaving a trail of fire. Even though its raining outside I feel incredibly hot.

A car passes by and honks loudly at us. I pull away and laugh quietly into Damon's chest. He wraps his arm around me.

I look up at his smiling face and kiss his cheek.

" I love you Damon.". My eyes trace all over his face taking him in.

He traces a hand gently down my face. He smiles at me. His smile is so full of happiness that it makes me feel what sadness is like. Just looking at him staring down at me like that, I know now that if I have Damon he's all that I'll ever need.

His fingers ghost over my lips.

" I love you Elena."

He kisses me on the forehead and then leans his forehead against mine.

" You ready to go home?" He asks quietly as he holds me.

Am I?

" No." I mutter into his chest. " Not really."

Damon holds me tighter and we stand in silence for a few minutes. I press myself closer to him and I listen to his heartbeat as my head rests against his chest. I can feel his muscles moving as he breathes. Its still raining and we continue to just stand there holding each other.

" Why don't you want go home?" he asks quietly.

I gently untangle myself from him and lean against the car so I can see his face.

" I'm afraid to face everyone. I'm afraid of how they'll think of me." I whisper.

Damon shakes his head fiercely.

" You're not a monster Elena."

I look down on the ground.

" I'm afraid to see how Jeremy will look at me." Damon steps close to me and tugs on my chin forcing my tear filled eyes to look up at him.

" He will look at you and see his strong sister. His sister who has gone through so much, but come out stronger because of it. He's your brother Elena. He just wants you back, regardless of what you've done."

I nod my head.

" Why do you still find good in me?" I ponder staring up at him.

" The same reason that you still find it in me." He whispers against my lips.

He kisses me softly and slowly this time. He pulls away and his search over my face.

" If you don't want to go home just yet we can wait."

" What do you mean?" I entwine our hands.

" It can be just us two, just for a little bit. Until we get you fully under control." He pushes a strand of wet hair away from my face.

" I'd like that." I whisper as I lean into his touch. He smiles down at me and I feel so content just standing in the rain with him.

" So where to?" he gestures with his hands smiling. " There's a million possibilities."

And for once there was. I can go anywhere with Damon. Absolutely anywhere, and that's the best news I've heard In a while. We can escape everything together even if its just for a few days, all of our problems will go away.

" Surprise me." I grin.

Damon smirks at me as he opens the car door and I climb in.

" At least narrow it down for me a little." He climb in top the other side and turns to face me grinning.

" Somewhere remote." I reply.

He leans over closer to me and his hand grazes my thigh.

" So somewhere no one can interrupt us?" He smirks.

" Interrupt what?" I ask innocently.

Damon just winks at me and returns to his seat.

I have a feeling I'll never forget this trip.

ROAD TRIPP. So what do you think? Leave a review and tell me where you want them to go! Massive thanks to all of you!


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